Looking deeper into the thoughts of a sixteen year old,

the defective way,

2011-11-05T09:45:00.020+08:00

Murtads in Malaysia and Singapore

Irritatingly bothersome. Absurd. Illogical. Gagged up, preposterous and ludicrous. Try figuring that out. Uh, Feeling so agitated after going through the group's recent status updates. I know there's no point being aggregated over this ridiculous nuisance, ( it's not like my feelings are going to help in anything ) but it's just something I can't be silent about. UH, Grief stricken over this bunch of confused people.

I don't see how all these criticizing and mocking would help protect the rights of apostates or the freedom of religion. No doubt it's some good intention. But it's the wrong way. The wrong choice of words. The wrong train of thoughts. What's left is just plain hypocrisy. Disturbing. Intruding. Contradicting. ( If the church ever gets involved with groups like this)

Dear Janice,
Speak up, but NEVER mislead people.
Never bring up controversies if you yourself are carelessly being negligent. Never try to delude. Never try going two extremes.

Dear Daddy,
I AM CHO BUMMED OUT! CHO VERY BUMMED OUT! Forgive us for being such a bunch of hypocrites. Please give me a kick in the heart if I'll ever turn up to be one. Help me never to be boxed up and confused, never to react impulsively over a rush of emotions. Never to be judgemental, and never to follow my own confusing heart. I know this is never how you want us/ or whoever else to protect and love the ones you love. Expose the eyes and ears of our hearts to the truths that'll set us free from being chained up into pools of deceitful lies and to always have a clear conscience :)

Thank you for teaching me to always question my faith whenever I doubt something. ( also being there for me even when I doubt you! :) , providing solid answers, and ultimately satisfying my thirst for truths. Love you so much! :3

Shot in October, @ Grand Istana Rama.

1 Be willing to accept those who still have doubts about what believers can do. And don’t argue with them about their different ideas.
2 Some people believe they can eat any kind of food, but those who have doubts eat only vegetables.
3 Those who know they can eat any kind of food must not feel that they are better than those who eat only vegetables. And those who eat only vegetables must not decide that those who eat all foods are wrong. God has accepted them.
4 You cannot judge the servants of someone else. Their own master decides if they are doing right or wrong. And the Lord’s servants will be right, because the Lord is able to make them right.
5. Some people might believe that one day is more important than another. And others might believe that every day is the same. Everyone should be sure about their beliefs in their own mind. Romans 14.

It's a just vexed feeling, you know? A sick one.

Sleeping in for the day,

2011-11-02T18:04:00.014+08:00

A picture of Seth Zachary's creamy little greenish
birthday cupcakes from Ninth of July! :)

Exactly 27 windows opened in one fourth of an hour.
Of music videos, photographs, photoblogs, inspiring scrap and sketch sites, skype and facebook. I must admit, it's years since I spent such a long time in my room alone. No wonder I woke up feeling productive. Just a second. Scratch that. No one ever wakes up first thing to productivity. You gotta earn it. In other words, you need to move UP and out of bed, start doing something and call your day productive.

Like I said on Facebook, pretty much locked myself up in my little roomie the whole morning, crafting my way outta piles of recyclables ( which reminds me, I must have caught a little claustrophobia while I was at that ) Let's just say that I wouldn't survive another minute being stuck in my room with so many colourful strands and pieces of paper, ribbons, punches, pencils, markers, stamps and what not, without doing anything. Gooey hands, butt aches, cramped legs and coloured fingers. They surely work well together alright.

*Takes deep breath and exhales*

Now that it's the late afternoon and the daylight's decreasing, I shall take some time off to go for a jog. Definitely never too late for jogs! Ah, Feels good to know that I've done what I've set out to accomplish for the day. Well .. At least I think so?

Dear Dad,
I thank you for another day of living, moving, and breathing. T'was fun, indeed!
Time to open up those doors! ;)

2011-11-02T09:38:00.004+08:00

School has just been all the more, exciting! :) Well, Other than the times you lay on the table and doze off to sleep. Let's pick those recyclable items up and get going, lady! :)

; Bali.

2011-10-27T16:19:00.015+08:00

One island. Barely a small part of the world.
2.5 million precious lives.

You're the way out to a life complete with the abundance of love ; the answer to provision ; the end to the endless searching deep down in the hearts of many, especially in the midst of chaos and confusion when lives are at stake; the only one standing steadily when earthquakes hit the island ; the perfect painkiller for hearts that ache, and exactly the right person to turn to when hearts break.

Upholding Bali into your loving arms ; praying for breakthroughs to come to pass ; for waves of revival and transformation to sweep the island, as well as the country it belongs to :')

Social Inequalities.

2011-10-27T16:12:00.005+08:00

That particular day, we were driving across to Tanah Lot ; dreadfully stopped at a traffic light junction, only to see a couple of little kids, at the age of 4-5, running across the streets, knocking on windows for money. This time it’s not just me, their clothes were all torned and they pretty much looked like they’ve no where to go to. Pa said their parents may be the one who gave out orders to do so. Either way it’s saddening to see things like that still happening in the world. and it’s even SAD that these things only strike you once or twice when you’re actually looking at it with your own eyes. I guess everyone needs a reminder or two that there are still those employed in lower tier jobs or otherwise possessing below-average incomes. Praying that in time, the destructive walls of social inequalities will be demolished once and forever, not just in terms of income and wealth, but also in terms of class, race, and religion.

Flying Back Home.

2011-10-27T16:01:00.001+08:00

*pants* Good to finally be back home in Malaysia! Feels like forever. Guess I could say that Bali Island’s still very close to my heart ;) Well technically not just the island itself. I guess it’s more to the amazing people I met and the new faces I see.

This trip was more than one of those typical holiday trips you make just to chill over a week’s break or something. You could say that a ninety percent of everything I did/see/talk/hear about reminded me of at least one thing I should do/learn from. It’s as though every step I take, every image my little mind captures are shadows of even deeper realities and needs I should be looking into.

Dear Daddy, it was fun looking beyond the surface of Bali and not just what the island has to offer. Cheers to a whole new level of stretching my capacity to love beyond limitations through You! :)

Apart from the adventures you get to venture here, the unique faces of people and the story they each carry with them are the ones that excite me.

More to come.

2011-10-27T15:44:00.012+08:00

So here’s my list of randomly awkward, less noticeable discoveries.

#1 Tissue here is so much smoother than the tissue paper you can find in Malaysia. I’m serious! And people here are just so generous with tissue. So much so that every toilet I enter there has to be someone offering tissue paper for free! Or “ Jgn lupa kertas tisu anda” : ) sheer generousity.

#2 I don’t know if it’s me but ants ( yes, I’m reffering to the little bugs crawling all around your food ) are way lazy here in Bali. I don’t exactly know why but you can leave food on the table and be gone for hours AND STILL, not have your food surrounded by these little insects. It’s either me or maybe the population of ants in the island decreased! Must be me.

#3 Mosquitoes are lazy here too. I haven’t got bitten by a mosquito in the island. Cool.

#4 On the other hand, MONKEYS ARE so CHO SMARTER HERE. They’re actually pretty much like what I’ve expected. Maybe a little more. They know how to get your moneh :/ Oh well. #animals and their high IQs.

#5 Oh and then there’s water. I don’t know how the system works here but I think I’d like to stick to Malaysia’s filtered tap water for now. Could say I’m pretty much not used to the salty tap water in Bali. Feels like I’m taking in salt every time I wash up. MY BODEH CANNOT TAKE IT YO. Heh!

#6 Speaking of which, You’ll most probably find only watermelons, papayas, and hrmm. I guess the most common ones are bananas and pineapples. They tend to miss out on apples and most citrus fruits. Sad I don’t get to have ‘em here.

#7 Which reminds me! :) Interestingly, welcome drinks are so common here. They're like signs of respect towards new comers/guest. welcome packs. Something YC never lacks!

A can of coke for 14 ringgit.

2011-10-27T15:36:00.002+08:00

One thing I find unpleasant here in Bali is that people here, ( by people I meant the stall/shop lot owners on the streets) . They really know how to take advantage of the steaming hot weather and the tourist here. Just a can of coke can spike up to about 40k rupiah. Which is about 14 ringgit for a can of coke. BUT! that doesn't mean everyone rolls that way. Besides, I’m sure all they’re doing is frying to earn big bucks to support their family, only thing is it's the wrong way.

Water-related comparisions.

2011-10-27T15:20:00.007+08:00

The thing I like bout Water Sports here is that the locals really ensure that the safety of tourist comes in first place. In a way they don’t push you to some water sport just for the sake of earning big bucks. Instead, they really make sure you’re safe and ready to get going with the sport. Scuba divers have to be accompanied with dive masters, plus. no one’s allowed to carry on with any water related sports without a trainer with you. Might be a spoiler but I think it's cool that way.

Also, I got to know how it’s like to go shopping in the streets of Bali , bath in sweat under the steaming hot sun without having a can of 100plus. You know how Malaysians work, right? It’s always that can of 100plus that keeps you running. Well, in most cases. Order a can of 100plus here and watch people stare at you as though you’re trying to order some smuggled alcoholic drink ;) Hah. Over exaggerated. 100plus. That’s ONE.

It’s woody and I like it.

2011-10-27T14:50:00.002+08:00

Everything from the post box to the dustbins to tissue paper holder is all made of uniquely carved wood.

Random thoughts I'd like to remember.

2011-10-23T21:23:00.006+08:00

# Bikes and cars.

First thing I noticed hours after touchdown besides the steaming hot weather was that motorbikes and bicycle own the streets here in Bali. Which means, they actually get to rule the roads. Even so, Balinese drivers could be so patient on the road even if it means the traffic is more or less at a standstill. That is of course, what I think it is.

Also, the roads in Bali are

extremely narrow. Constructions can go on without the need to close down the whole block of road ( and yes, that contributes to even narrower roads) All you need is just huge yellow sign that tells you to watch out. LIGHTS ON! ;)

; funny.

2011-09-24T17:12:00.002+08:00

my hands are itching to throw pillows at the wall I'm staring.

:)

My classmates; They're amazing.

2011-09-17T22:52:00.009+08:00

On the 16th of September,
At exactly 2:56pm, Deanna dropped me a call while I was out with my family
On the 17th of September,
At 5.57pm, Ann dropped me 3 messages, miss called me twice, and end up almost throwing oranges at my little coffee house.

At 8.41pm, a huge gift of love was delivered to my doorstep.
I looked at that little pig and the people sitting in her car was smiling at me! :D And that little pig, gave me a huge nerdy smile as usual :) HEH.

First person who had her eyes on this huge piece of artwork was granny.
Thousands of questions came bombarding in ; I went up to my room, sat down on the corner and started reading. Soon, moma joined in. Then came Dad. Then came Nelle with the camera! :DI think my family was more thrilled and excited than I was! :D

"Superb. Your friends are just crazy", dad said.

Moma laughed at the extremely kuit scribblings, Nelle was busy snapping photos of the creatively designed, huge piece of artwork.

Having to look at the huge gift of love ; made me reflect on how I so often, took my friends for granted. Probably because everything in school moved at such a fast pace these days, I realised I overlooked the hearts of this crazy bunch of classmates I have. I looked back and teared, ( this time, not because any part of my body was painful ) it was because of these crazy bunch of young people who poured out so much effort, time, love, patience, and concern to come up with such a huge, beautiful and creatively designed card ; eventhough some of them weren't even sure of what has been going on lately. Tse Ann being her, listing out all the jobs delegated out for this mini project, knowing that I would like to thank them personally.

So here's a big toast to you guys for being my amazing bunch of peers! Let me tell you this, I don't like the card. I LOVE ALL OF YOU! :D Thank you guys, not just because you guys made me the BIGGEST CARD I've ever had, but for being who you guys really are, individually. You have no idea how much I enjoy being classmates with all of you, thank you for bringing so much joy to me! and for being there for me in times of trials! Yes, though I still may not know each and everyone of you very very well, ( and i'm ashamed of it! ) or be the coolest friend you can ever have, I thank God from the bottom of my heart for allowing all of you to be a part of my life for the past four years :) It was such a humbling experience having to spend time with you guys in school! Yeah I know it's not suppose to be some emotional blog post thing cause I kinda already had that on my birthday.. :D But man, thanks guys. Here, I'd like to apologize for not being your ideal friend, if I may. I know for sure, I've been a pain in the neck to some of you at a certain point of time in life. ( THERE MUST BE! RECAP! :D ) AWH Guys, You da best! :D

OH AND MY TEACHERS ;
THEY MAKE ME SPEECHLESS, IN A GOOD WAY! :DDDDDD

Shukriyaa!
to the Editorial Board : Adeline, Marcus, Elena, Pui Teng, Kavitra, Sam, Deanna, Tse Ann.
Marcus Lee,'Human Resource Manager',
Marcus Lee, Founder and Director of Project Moo.
Amanda Young, Photographer.
Ann, Cropper, Post MAN, SUPER AWESOME BESTIE!
Kavitra, Sam, Oliver, Colouring Squad,
Deanna Nicole LEEEEEEE, Host :D

Okay I only know THIS MUCH bout the little comittee, hahaa.
BUT DO KNOW I LOVE THE REST OF YOU EQUALLY AS MUCH!

4a9 ; CREME DE LA CREAM, YA'LL! :') <3

I tell you Janice, you have the craziest bunch of classmates, crazy enough to do such things for you even if you don't deserve it.

On the side note, God.
I know I've silently said this to you but I shall type this again. Please, please continue to demolish the destructive walls of pride, prejudice, anger, and bitterness building up silently inside my heart. I know I can never guard my heart as well as you can, so I'm gonna leave it for YOU to settle! :) I may not be the world's greatest bible scholar /pastor but I know that everything ( everything theological, even ) boils down to one simple thing I know I should do, that is to continue to remain in Your Love.
Thank you Daddy!

Okay that's was a weird angle! :D

Happy 48th Birthday, Malaysia :)

2011-09-16T22:05:00.011+08:00

Dear Malaysia,

I just wanted you to know that ,
even if more people were to emigrate in hope to secure a
‘better and more fulfilling future’ out there,
I’ll still love you because I was given a chance to call you home.

Even if there are still many unwanted things like social injustice happening right here,
I'll still love you because I believe a breakthrough is coming in our generation ; a generation that’ll rise up and not just be more conscientious, but react on these realities.

Dear Malaysia,

I love you not because you're the greatest country in the world, well technically you're not but I still think you are cause I've learnt that so often we fix our eyes on outward perfection, we forget how the 'perfect' had to start with the 'weak'. So Malaysia,

Even if you’re not exactly the perfect, ideal country to live in, I still love you because I know there’s so much hope for you to advance into a greater nation the moment we all start working together towards the REAL transformation.

I love you because I know that despite your flaws, you’re still an all-round great place to live in and ultimately, my Daddy’s love is just flooding you! ;)

Happy Malaysia Day, Malaysia.

i <3 you, and I'm proud have such a beautiful place to call home.

We the Malaysians.

2011-09-16T21:04:00.016+08:00

Early this morning, person X was listening to that catchy, Satu Malaysia song -
Person Y came up and told Person X to tune it down because it’s irritating .

"The concept is ALL FAKE", he added.

Person X didn’t want to, because person X believed in this concept.
Person X believed that it CAN happen ;
Person X had faith that greater things are yet to come for this nation.
Person X believed that there IS HOPE that never fails for this nation,
Person X believed that there IS LOVE, pouring down from the gates of heaven for this nation,

Even rationally speaking, the whole idea of the one 1Malaysia concept CAN HAPPEN. If only our hearts would be opened to unite as one. If only we would set aside our differences, put others before ourselves, demolish the destructive walls of pride, prejudice, anger, envy and bitterness. If only we were not to count on the GOVERNMENT to see this concept come to pass. ( after all, eventhough they were the ones initiating the concept, it doesn't mean the job's all on them! )

Speaking of which, remember how united the people of Malaysia were so united as one during the Bersih 2.0 rally on the 9^th of July? Many of us Malaysians made exceedingly harsh, but true comments saying that they have never seen the people of Malaysia being so united, the whole scene just drove a rush of emotions, people of different walks of life, race, and religion stood by hand in hand, facing teargas and water cannons together. Don't we see unity in the picture now? I saw comments like “ I think Bersih 2.0 unites more Malaysians than Mr.Najib’s 1Malaysia concept”.

The thing about us is that we’ve all sunk down in apathy and our butts are just to heavy. Throughout my entire life, I have NEVER FAILED to see people pointing fingers at the government when there’s something wrong in our country. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cursing people who do so( even I am guilty of that at times) but to me, I think we’re already at fault the moment we push our responsibilities to the government. ( Honestly speaking, I feel that’s how they have gained so much power over time, because all we do is push everything to them!) If we’re desperately looking for a transformation, it’s definitely starting with US, the PEOPLE of Malaysia. After all, what’s a country without her people? Aren’t WE the Malaysians? Aren’t WE, MALAYSIA? It’s time we realize that Malaysia isn’t solely made up of THEM ALONE. Instead of laying back and watch the government transform your country, ( which will unlikely happen ) you do something. Discover your abilities, your talents, your gifts. Bring a movement of change within your circle of influence, cause even if you don't get to change the whole of Malaysia, you've changed a part of it. Be that living cell.

Person X believes that when each individual in every generation begins to love and appreciate one another regardless of race and status, embracing one another in genuine love and standing together as ONE united force, nothing can stop the power of Love from sweeping through the nation, releasing blessings of revival as we walk in love, accepting and esteeming one another ABOVE ourselves. Person X is me! :D

You're just as BAD as you think the nation is if you're not taking ownership of your own country.

Kita satu bangsa, satu negara, Satu Malaysia.
Malaysia IS US, 1 Malaysia, CAN HAPPEN.

Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia! :)

2011-07-10T20:15:00.022+08:00

Being able to wake up at 6amish for YC is like anticipating in a queue for a cup of good ol’ Baskin Robbin’s icecream. Sweeet! ;)

Jeremy was right. The thing about us is that sometimes, when we pray for our country for the underlying problems she’s facing, we tend to pray in such a way that it’s all ‘THEIR’ problem- hence, contributing to a bigger problem that leads to complacency and apathy.We put it in such a way that it’s THEIR responsibility to bring the country together when truth is, we’re all equally responsible for this country as individuals. We set our mindsets in such a way that we don’t feel any sense of guilt when we hear of corruptive things happening .Subconsciously, we allow ourselves to overlook the selfishness and greed that has been evolving deep inside our inner being.

Dear Righteous Dad,
I don’t want it to be that only after I see bloodshed that I start seeing the urge to stand in the gap for my country. Two years back around this time of the year opened my blind eyes to see that I was born in Malaysia for a reason. For some reason I wasn’t born in Africa without food or in the US sipping a bottle of coke, or in Hawaii enjoying by the beachside. I was born in Malaysiato do all I can to oppose all forms of prejudice, discrimination, oppression, persecution and injustice. I know I can’t do this by my own strength. When I see Malaysia with my own eyes, I see a nation so destructive, so full of corruption. But through Your eyes, I see Your beautiful people. I hear your heartbeat , I feel your anguish for Your people. I see that glimpse of HOPE for Malaysia through You. That’s right. There’s no corruption or injustice in Your kingdom – and so, let Your kingdom come and Your will be done in my country. Dear Dad, I’ll live , knowing there’s a greater day,there’s a hope that never fails. When Your Name is lifted high I’m believing for the Day.Let Your name be lifted higher, higher above ANY FORM OF corruption, higher above injustice, higher above selfishness and greediness, higher than complacency and apathy.I pray that You would engage the hearts and minds of Malaysians to rise above the social constructs and divisive forces of ethnicity, faith, colour, class or gender.

Heal this land I pray.

If you want your children to be able to call Malaysia their peaceful home, you need to start realizing that it’s about time you take ownership of Malaysia. It’s about time you go the extra mile and have the courage to fight this for the the future generation.

Dear You/ reader,

” Malaysians struggled through the experience of having shot by water cannons and t

ear gases, being kicked and whacked out of their choice to make a stand, ; children , teens, men and women being arrested by authorities, detained till midnight, sacrificing their clean records , walking together , nurturing the spirit of unity FOR A REASON – Some 10-15thousand Malaysians stood up FOR A CAUSE –all these were done FOR THE FUTURE GENERATION – you and me. Your future sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters ."
Sincerely, me.

You’re part of Malaysia.
Sure, you can chose to run away and be send off to another country ; secure a better future in the first world, you say? No matter what, if you were born in Malaysia, you’re a Malaysian and forever will be a Malaysian.

Dear Janice,This blog post serves as a reminder to you, you shall be reminded that You’re a Malaysian who cares and believes. Do your part for your country. Exercise your rights as a citizen. Take hold of the authority given to you. Ultimately, search His heart for Malaysia – be a vessel, an agent of change to aid in this process of transformation. Until revival sweeps this land ( even after that ) Do not give up ; pray and keep praying. Until the winds of change blow right in, Do NOT lose hope on your Dad for your country – You were born for times like this. Kudos to Jesus for triumphing over evil! So just as your Daddy triumphed over evil, so shall you through Him, by all means go all out and never give up! :)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us,to him be glory in the church
and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,for ever and ever! Amen.
- Ephesians 3:20-21"

In our hearts,
Lord, in this nation.
Awakening.
For this Hour, for this moment.
I seek awakening.

For Greater Things have yet to come, and Greater Things are still to be done in this city.
Saya anak Bangsa Malaysia and I'm believing for transformation to happen in Malaysia.

the ninth of july.

2011-07-09T23:53:00.017+08:00

Awakened by the alarm at seven am in the morning, I washed up and immediately got on my knees to pray for my country. Yeah, while most of us was sleeping in, I decided to be up early ( I was up at 1am but then I dozed off , meh ) to stand in the gap and intercede. At half past eight my mom barged in my room to get me out to the market .

“ But I’m not even done with interceding”.
Seeing that she really needed help with the groceries, I got changed an and went off. I took a solitary walk outside of the house to the market in the morning, only to hear more about the spongebob rally. Another step further and I could hear the voices of many, murmuring about the inconvenience they would have to tolerate later in the afternoon. I stood there thinking, ( That was me being part of a thinker I suppose )

"Are we actually gonna tolerate all these ‘inconvenience’ now, or are we just gonna sit back and tolerate more dirty elections and a filthy , violated and destructive country in time to come? " Both on my left and right, I could hear people criticizing the authorities, making harsh comments when the thing is, they don’t really even know what’s going on. I myself, am in no position to make such comments, because I didn't really make the effort to do deep researches to check on what’s happening internally.

Then, I went for a luncheon in the afternoon with a prayerful attitude - only to hear everyone at my table having a ‘discussion’ about the rally going on at two. Instead of throwing in bits and pieces of unhelpful comments, I went surfing the net in hope to hear more of the happenings. True enough the more I hear about what's going on in my country, the more my heart began to stir - I'm being reminded of the need to stand in the gap for my country. Watching videos of innocent Malaysians (who only want their voices to be heard) get whacked and kicked on the ground , knowing that more and more Malaysians are getting arrested for ‘walking’ the talk ; my heart sank deep in anguish. Daddy, I knew you were crushed to see these Malaysians being injured, harmed and oppressed in silence, but I also trust that You have the right plans for her.Yes, I was suppose to be one of the people who were happily attending the luncheon. I was literally there but Dad, you know where I was and what I was up to. Everyone at my table thought I was being the ‘rebel kid with the phone’ – but I couldn’t help it, the urge to be quiet and intercede after every update was so strong. Over the hour I was literally spamming my wall with short cry outs.

As soon as I got back from the luncheon my eyes were focused on the laptop, I hopped on bed and started relying on the mass media to stay updated. It didn’t take me long to realized the need to take time more time off to intercede for my country. Instead of reading more of the chaotic news and flooding twitter updates that were shooting like gunshots, I closed my eyes, quietened my heart and started turning to Him. As my eyes were shut tight, and noises around me began to fade away, I saw a chaotic scene, a scene I would never wanna see come to past. The last time I closed my eyes on occasions like these for my country – I saw bloodshed and cruel people stomping over layers of people out of selfishness and greed. " No, Dad. No." - The amount of fear and reverence that was instilled in my heart carried me further into a deeper level of intercession.

At four the crowds told to disperse as promised, detainees were released at 12pmish instead of 9pm as promised. ( that was exactly what happened to my friend , at least ) Yup! It was a without doubt a historical ( NOT HYSTERICAL OKAY! ) day – a day for all Malaysians to remember. Not to forget that beautiful sight of Malaysians from all walks of life coming together in unity, and actually walk the talk. Bersih 2.0 was semi successful - Now we've got to keep prayin' for the memorandum to be passed over, eh?

On the side note, Dad.
Today’s hystorical event reminded me to constantly look beyond the surface of things to see the need to stand in the gap for my country, to have the courage to stand up for what is right, to take hold of the authority given to me – to exercise my rights a
s a Malaysian. Most importantly, to look from Your Perspective of the things , instead of being heavily biased towards the sceptical perspective in which the world looks at.

Thumbs up and hats off to some 10-15 thousand Malaysians who had the courage to walk the talk and to make the most out of this opportunity given ; to show that your actions spoke so much louder than words! :)

Another thumbs up for yellow mellow stuff lying in my room!
HIDUP RAKYAT!

Today ; I knocked out on bed early in the night only to know that it's now the beginning of another season of change.

Let the winds of change blow right in yaw! ;)

being CLEAN ;

2011-07-05T18:48:00.008+08:00

1. Free from dirt, stain, or impurities; unsoiled.

2. a. Free from foreign matter or pollution; unadulterated

b. Not infected: a clean wound.

3. a. Producing relatively little pollution:

b. Producing relatively little radioactive fallout or contamination:

4. Having no imperfections or blemishes; regular or even

5. a. Not ornate or intricate; spare

b. Sharply defined; clear-cut

6. Free from clumsiness; deft; adroit

7. Devoid of restrictions or encumbrances:

8. Thorough; complete

9. Having few alterations or corrections; legible

10. a. Morally pure; virtuous: led a clean life.

b. Having no marks of discredit or offense: a clean voting record.

11. Fit for all readers, listeners, or audiences; not ribald or obscene

12. Honest or fair: a clean fighter; a clean competition.

WASH UP AND BE CLEAN! :)

Dear Janice, don't ever ever forget your commitment to set aside 30 minutes and more for Malaysia! :) JUST DO IT! Bersih means clean.

Adios! :)

2011-07-04T12:57:00.001+08:00

A day off school to catch up with things.
which reminds me, I still owe people lotsa pektures.

Okay it’s about time I get off the media and catch up on devotions and the work pilling on my desk.
Taken two months break off studies, think It’s time to catch up nao.
can’t believe I’m actually going to sign up for tuition classes :0

Dear Daddy,
Thank You for making all things work together for my good.
The next six months of the year is Yours ;)

" It's only when you're grateful for what you each day, you get to acknowledge who God is and what He has been doing in Your Life"

BD #8 - Of more shoutouts.

2011-07-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

SHU HEE ;

The second I opened your gift, The first thing on my mind was that. YOU’RE CRAZY. CRAZY I TELL YOU, CRAZY! I still don’t get how you found the time to make all these little cow sticks but THEY’RE SO CUTE AND I LOVED EVERYSINGLE ONE OF THEM! :D though I don’t know you quite well, keep being the kind of friend that would stick out for your friends! : ) Thank you for the amazingly special present, I REALLY. DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING! :D

ELENA & JOANNE ;

Thank you dear, for the cute mug and the photo frame! ;D Thanks for being such a blessing to meeeeee, i love you both very much!

TSE ANN ;

Thank you for the long encouraging speech. Though I didn’t get to hear it from you last night, i sorta already heard our secret speech speaking from our hearts ;) thank you for going the extra mile ; writing me this sweet long message ; couldn’t help it but cry! Yeah, we’ll keep growing. We’ll keep planting cabbages together. We’ll keep sticking together. WE’LL KEEP BEING US! :D Thanks Dad. For this breathing gift =)

KAVI ;

I sent you a long text message instead, HEHEHHE :D

OH AND HEARTFELT THANKS TO THE BOTH OF YOU for burning a hole in your pocket! I LOVED the both of them very muccccchhhhh! It must cost you a bom!

SAM-E ;

I guess being who you really are and not what others think of you as is what makes you shine out of the many people around. There’s something special in you that I really treasure and I would really love to see our friendship blossom like the beautiful flower! ( name me one, hehehe )

THANKS! :D

Li Yueng, Suk Kyi, Amanda :

Thanks for making the extra effort to plan and make sure things work out for the dinner. It’s not easy getting everyone to settle down and running the whole dinner, I want to let you know that it didn’t really matter whether the ONE dinner went smoothly, what matters to me the most is having the opportunity to spend time with you guys every 5 days a week! :D more than a birthday dinner. And girls, you have been such good friends ; friends that i’ll have a spot for right here in ma’ heart! :D Love you girls, and the four amazing years we’re been together!

Loved the photo frame notebook.

DHAKSHA, CHEE MENG , OLIVER, RODNEY , DEANNA , EUJIN, ADELINE ;

To be honest this was the very notebook I wished for quite long ago and I WAS IN SHOCK that you guys actually got it fer me :/ I didn’t manage to get it because it was so pricey. BUT goodness me, THANK YOU SO MUCCCHH , I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVED IT! :DThank you for being such thoughtful friends!

AARON LEW ;

For always being around to help out in SU. And for being who you are- thanks for the teddy, the chocolate and the pouch!

ABEL CHOO ;

been classmates for 6 months nao ;) My sister and I loved your pencil case! IT’S CHO CUTE! You make a good friend and we appreciate your company!

MARCUS ;

for that artsy- like sincere note you scribbled for me! :D and the present you stole from somebodeh under your roof! OR SOMETHING. Hahahha ;) been class mates for 6 months now, and I’m glad our paths crossed! :D keep being the Marcus I know you are! :D

ADELINE TAN;

for the cute birthday card and the meaningful notes scribbled in both cards! :D I love you to bits! And yesss we shall move on with life! :D HAHHAHAA. I love you choo much and I’ve pretty much said everything on the card I gave you , HEHEHE ;D THANKS DEAR! :D

LEON ; for the weird angpau packet! ;D crazy dude. HAHA ;D

AND EVERYONE ELSE! :D

P/S : Thousand apologies for the names I didn't mention, I felt so hot at two in the morning last night I decided to doze off instead. But know that I really really appreciate and acknowlegde everything you guys did for me ;)

All in all It wasn’t the amount of presents/text messages/birthday wishes/ hugs and kisses I’d received. It’s not about this one day that I get to be happy and celebrate.

It’s more like the best ‘birthday’ presents are all around me! ;)
THANKS AGAIN DAD!

BD # 7 - Shoutouts from the heart.

2011-07-04T10:43:00.000+08:00

ROSALEEN GOH ;
Thank You Rose, for reminding me I can’t wink! And dropping me a text message.
Also, I want to let you know that you’re having the hairstyle I had when I cut my hair SHORT. For the first time :) Blessed being the ‘mini You!’

Thanks PAUL TAN ; for the keychain I wanted a year ago! Guess I told you the story, hehee.

Thanks KATHERINE ;
for praying and camwhoring with me this morning ;)

Thanks SZE KAY ;
For the little purple note I was blessed with! :) I love you to bits and I’ve always loved the way you are! Thanks for being there to listen when I needed someone to! For the tears and the joy ;)

SUWEN , CHLOE, JED ;
for the tight bear hug in the ladies early in the morning!

Thanks for the tight squeeze and the belated birthday screams.
Thank You Josh and Annora for the super anointed message!
Thank You Ginsky for picking on me out of the high heels! And also encouraging me.
ABANG SAM ;

For the super duper cool birthday present! :) Didn’t see that coming and you know I love it to bits! :D Thank you for always being ever so ready to listen and being such an inspiration in my life! I enjoy your company very much and and i’d like to spend more time talking to you!

RACHEL MOEY ;
for that hug and the prayer. I want to let you know that your message inspired me to wake up in the morning at 4 and start working my heart out for the things I know my Daddy wants me to do. Thank you for being you, and being such a wonderful elder sister! ;) I love you to bits and I’m glad you made it all the way through the 3 months in Logos! :D

CANDICE ;
FOR BEING THE COLOURFUL, TOUGH LADY YOU ARE! :D i’ve always knew that you’re capable of more than you’ve ever imagined and I still believe you can make it through the tough life in Aussie! I’m glad our paths crossed and I’ll always love you ;)

SARAH ANN YOUNG ;
thanks dear big ME! :D for being YOU! And more showering so much affection on meeeee ;) Thank you for all the random coloured pieces of encouragement! :DD I thank God for you – one of the many few that inspired me to embrace this journey of life and to run this race well! :D I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU! :D

ROXANNE ;
for poking my fats early in the morning, hehehe. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH and It’s lovely to have someone like you who cares so much more people around! Thank you Roxanne, you make a good friend and i enjoy your company! :D

BEN GAN ;
Thanks Ben, For driving all the way to ma house , equipped with tubs of good ol’ fattening ice cream with a thoughtful heart! Thanks for not letting me have my bottle back and always lookin’ out for me!

SALENA TEE ;
THANK YOU SALENA TEE! :Dfor making the extra effort to send my birthday package all the way from New Zealand! J I love you SO MUCH KIWI and I know i’m gonn alove the package so much. I CAN’T WAIT TO RECEIVE IT! I’m sorry yours was delayed for so long though! :/ I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH FWEN, AND I MISS YOU SO MUCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I lub you, please sanitize your hands more often. ;)

BD # 6- Stuffy seafood.

2011-07-03T21:18:00.000+08:00

And then I had another birthday dinner which made my brother’s face swell up! HEHEHEHEHHEE. I am such a mean sister, hehee. Nothing means more than spending quality time when your family! ( well not exactly nothing but you get my point! )but yeah, writing this made me zoom back to the past. The day I was down on knees in desperation to see my family be united in faith and love. I remember kneeling down on the floor in tears with Ginsky beside me during conference. And boy, have I been praying hard everyday! :D

“ When you talk to God even at the most random and awkward moments ( that means, praying ) – ( even if you’re simply telling him you’re about to fart or brush your teeth ) He’ll never leave your prayer unanswered. “

Something I was reminded of today .8 months passed and I’m seeing a big change in my family NAO and i’m not giving up just yet.

“Perseverance” , - Josh Chang.

Thanks Dad. For simply answering those silent whispers.Yeah, and thanks for the chance to stuff myself with so much seafood and ice cream I can barely even walk right now – YES, I’M THAT BLOATED. It’s close to midnight now and I guess life’s just awesome with You. Wait , i didn’t guess that! I KNOW THAT ;D haha.

I’m giving it all away, all to go your way.

BD # 5 - It was love that made me a believer.

2011-07-03T12:41:00.000+08:00

Not being around in YC for three weeks is not exactly a very good idea. Gotta give me a smack on the face like Ben did! HAAHA. Despite the fact that I soaked in tears last night, I did it again this morning, Well I didn’t exactly see in coming though. I came to YC having a deep sense of desperation to receive something, ( not physically, I’m showered with too many heart-aching lovable birthday gifts ) And I didn’t step outta church empty handed.

" More like falling in love Than something to believe in "

- I guess what Annora said was true. If you were to ask a Christian like me, questions on “GOD”; I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer. Instead, I’ll just bite my lips and walk off. It was only after I’ve experience these ‘stories’ for myself that gave me a head start of embracing this walk with You.

“ Even a mustard seed , ( one of the smallest seeds out of the many small seeds ) have the potential to grow if you don’t give up on watering and fertilizing it “
– Josh Chang, paraphrased.

And then Dad, you began to make me tear again after listening to Josh’s message. True enough both their messages were related to what I’ve been thinking off the past few days. While everything was happening so quickly, The encouraging text messages, heart to heart conversations, toasts and conversations just ran through. The fact that I was blessed enough to be able to see the fruits of what I’ve been planting was more than encouraging ; it drove me to do even better. I suppose today was more than one of those days when you come back from YC with swollen eyes and flushed- red face.

It’s one of those days when you’re challenged
to plant triple the seeds you’ve been planting and triple the water you’ve watering ;)
It’s one of those days when you’re challenged
to really bring change to your world, the people around you ; )

for the world you love ; let Your will be done in me because I desire the awakening of many hearts ;
to see them rise with a change in their lives. <3

BD # 4 - Tears to Bed.

2011-07-02T23:47:00.004+08:00

In spite of all the happening things going on,
I had to say there was this rush of emotions that came along ;
I came back home only to realise that I was gonna soak in tears to bed for the night. Speaking of which, I soaked my super cool pillow as well ._. I soaked in tears while reading all the long inspiring text messages I received. Reading 'em ; it felt like it was more than just something rather, touching. I felt like it hit the button right in the heart somewhere – the one that triggered the rush of emotions, I had to tear up. I thought of the years I’ve been in school and
the stuff I’ve been doing,
the friends I’ve been meeting and keeping,
the relationships I’ve been working,
the cards I’ve been making,
this life I’ve been living.

Sixteenth year, here I go.
To hear and read of what my friends and family had to say about my life and how much impact I’d brought to their lives was exactly the thing that got me down on my knees. I sought in tears.Dear God, I’m going to live the next 16 years and the years to come to do triple the stuff I’ve been doing (andmore!). I remember this prayer I said when I was eleven. And now I’ve seen it come to pass, after four years. Just like what Marcus said, I had to take a break from all the commotion ; lying down on my bed in the dark and reflecting through the past 16 years of my life – and at the end of the day, having to say that the life that I had been living so far was indeed an awesome one driven by You. Driven by the love you’ve imparted and made my carry on – to be spread around my world. No one would be able to deny the fact that I wouldn’t be the Janice I am if it wasn’t for You, who stepped in the picture of my life.

At midnight ( I suppose It was more of an early morning that midnight but oh well ; )
My eyes shut tight and the train of thoughts running through slowed down ,
the voices from my heart had quieten down, the sudden rush of emotions came to an end.

Dear God,
Like the rising sun that shines, from the darkness comes a light,
I hear your voice and this is my awakening.
Today, I’m challenged to take a another step up ( thank you Jofan Pang! ;)
MY prayer is that this life I have with You – would be brought to EVEN greater heights ;

achieving even GREATER THINGS.
through grace , and peace that surpasses all understanding.

BD # 3 - I want Nobody but YOU.

2011-07-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

I must admit, Exhibition Day drained most of my energy. To the point where I had to have 2 pieces of drumstick and one plate full of vegetables. Next up would be finishing the identity cards I had on the list ; which almost ties up to more than a hundred more to go? Sad to say, I dozed off while I was at that - for almost half and hour, i suppose. Then I got to hit the treadmill for half and hour AND THEN I went to bathe and got ready for my birthday dinner, HAHA ;) selfish little me.

Thank you for the happening birthday dinner, friends ;) Thank you Adrian for being the big star, Miing Pin, Aaron, Kar Hui for Sparta-ing.
Elena, Joanne, Chee Meng, Amanda, Li Yueng, Deanna, Sophia, Tse Ann, Kavitra, Elise and Samantha, for being such beautiful young ladies ;) Daniel, Leon, Oliver, Chee Weng Nick, Marcus, Alex, Brian, and Abel for being such cool buddies ;) My 10 year old friend Thina, for the meaningful toast ;)Sam for making it all the way from school to church to night market and to my birthday dinner.

EVERYBODEH, for the effort you guys put in to pull of such a happening birthday dinner, creatively! From birthday toast, to funny dress codes ( AND CHOCOLATE AWARDS TO OFFER! ) Four years now and it’s been an awesome journey , mates! ; ) Even to those who didn’t make it for the dinner, Adeline, Dhaksha, Rodney ( and the list goes on! )thanks for being mua friend ;)

-Sincerely, Me.

"So guys, what happened today would be something I’ll pass on to my children in the future ; if they were to ask me how I celebrated my sixteenth birthday."

On another side note, Thank you Daddy for surrounding me with beautiful individuals, being ever so thoughtful. The friends you’ve gifted me with ; the joy they bring and the smiles they carry in their hearts. Thank you for the chance even to have a good catch up birthday dinner with handsome and pretty people like them! ;) Although I was afraid to step into this school back when I was thirteen, I knew you had everything well taken care of, and true enough, Here I am doing absolutely fine under your arms ;)

Thank You Daddy ; I had an inspiring and encouraging birthday dinner.

BD #2 - 1 Malaysia Run & Exhibition Day.

2011-07-02T13:35:00.000+08:00

Dear Daddy ,

Being awake at 4am in the morning; reading all those messages that came spammin’ in over the night reminded me of the where I came from, and where I was heading. I must admit, those inspiring heartfelt messages( AND YOU )were the ones that got me going early in the morning, despite the neverending yawns and the countless times my eyes felt like shutting.

In hope to inspire more lives, I got out of bed, washed up and started crafting, again. Didn’t take me long to be filled with the joy of serving ; me being fired up to do the many things I could do was exactly what I was prayin’ for.

After two and the half hours of non stop yawning, stretching, singing and crafting ; I packed up, rushed downstairs and headed for school. Excitedly, I got down Ann’s car and was hyped up for the day – and no, it wasn’t because it was my birthday, it’s because I had this huge opportunity I’ll only ever have once a year ; Exhibition Day.

Good sweat kicked off a healthy morning, I’d say. 1Malaysia run was somewhat hilarious, in a way. I’ve always loved jogging while having this hilarious conversation with You. INSIDE JOKE ;D HAHA.

Exhibition set up was pretty tiring itself. Got the booth ready, pens and markers out, materials and what not. All in all I’d say it was pretty hectic and I didn’t exact follow what I’d planned earlier on.
( But that’s the whole point of being radical, huh ;) Tired, I was. What encouraged me was the fact that I got to make use of the opportunity given to me, to serve through the little talent that was given to me. Ammatures like me don’t get to do stuff like that everyday ya know!

Aside from all the commotion, I got to see sincere smiles from the heart, I got to show of my shiny metal teeth, scribble like I always loved to, and be under the fan was just a bonus that came along side ;) ;) I had an amazing time doing what I love to do, even if I didn’t get to go out and pay a visit to other clubs and their exhibits ; but thank you Daddy for reminding me that in order to save a life, you have to pay a price. Serving with a sacrifice would carry a deeper meaning – sacrificial love, another. So yeah, the skipping exhibition day and being right at my booth was just the thing I know I should do. It was worth the time and effort, because at least I get to impart something in many lifes – to let them know how special of an individual they are ; how their inner beauty would shine out of the many layers of make up and 8 packs.

Although, there’s this one thing I regret not doing - I didn’t get to snap any pics of the whole event. BUT then again! Thumbs up for Scripture Union and the committee, Mr. Najib kicking in a healthy start for the day, The friends that were with me all the way through, and the banana split that was left on the booth until it was deformed into something rather ... ( I’d like to skip this part ; )

Thank chu Daddy beginning my day at FOUR in the morning, pumped with energy and joy ;)

BD #1 - Malls and markers.

2011-07-01T23:21:00.001+08:00

1^st of July was just like every other day ;

; that doesn’t mean it was mundane and ordinary. I define every other day as every other SPECIAL day, which means I get to lay low and do ma’ thing! ;) ( well, YOUR thing, Daddy. YOUR THING ;)

Today, I got to impart something in a teacher’s life.
I got to craft – as always.
I got to build muscles ; got the classroom ready for exhibition.
I got to write a love letter to someone.
I got to sweat the toxins out of my bodeh.
I got to craft till midnight ;

Aside from all that the weirdest, yet funniest thing of all was, I got the chance to draw a card for a stranger, there and then.

Dear Janice, just In case you ever forget something like this happened, here’s how it goes –Right before I made my way to midvalley after school, I had this huge impression on me that I should pack all my crafting stuff with me, just incase. And so I did. –Scissors, pen, colour paper, tape – etc. Few hours later I find myself writing a card for this stranger –close to the age of twenty five, a lady I met at midvalley. After showing off my shiny metal teeth and a little introduction, she started to open up ; yes my mommy did warn me not to talk to strangers. But I knew I had to.(Thanks again Daddy! ) So she started telling me about her relationship with her guy, and how it’s not working that well. She saw my crafts and drawing as my bag was opened, and immediately asked me if I would do her a favour, make her a handmade card. I looked at her in the eyes, thinking that she was just kidding.

“ Okay, Why not? “I answered in fear because truth to be told, I was afraid I was gonna be involved in a scam of some sort. But Daddy you said to move on. So I did.
“Can you please draw a picture of me and my boyfriend in it? “
On the spur of the moment ; my colour paper, notepad, and pen came flyin’ out.
“Please write in the note’ We gambate together”
– Well yeah thing is, she was this Chinese lady, and we were both communicating in Mandarin. So I asked her about the story behind the card, and before I know it. I was done with the drawings and the card. While I was at that, we manage to have a pretty intense, deep and encouraging talk. Then, Instead of just writing those few words, I wrote a deeper meaningful quote, after listening to what she had to say. She had this smile on the face – the kind that would make me tear up and I did.
“ After talking to you, I can see you’re a very understanding person and you would make a good girlfriend and a mother”, she said sincerely.
“ Haha No lah, You must be kidding me”,that’s me being me – shy. “ I’m older than you, I’ve got more experience, you’re indeed one smart girl with a very kind heart, and I’m sure you’ll be successful in life when you grow older”, she said – being exactly like a Chinese. After the long heart to heart conversation, she walked away with the card and asked me if I will be here next week. I told her it would be a 50-50 chance. ( and there you go! that’s me being me, being extra safe ) ;

Cut the long story short we separated ways and she left with a huge smile on her face that was comin’ right from the heart. I gave her a big hug before I left, and she said a very sincere thank you. Why am I reminding you all these Janice? Because in time to come when you go to the malls, bring an extra pen, a notepad, a ready made card , a pair of sharp eyes to look out for opportunities and an open heart to serve there and then- a pair of sharp ears to listen to the voice that’ll be leading you to be obedient and not to be doubtful. Also, pay extra attention and take all the safety precaution you’ll need to stay alive and going ;)

Note that today you’ve implanted a seed in a person’s life. And you shall be praying for that very beautiful lady and her relationship! :)

On the side note, I remember praying for opportunities like this the day before, because I was really desperate – and I had overdose of love. And true enough, I was able to do so many things today, from inspiring my teacher – to .. being there to listen for a stranger. Thanks Dad, for opening doors and opportunities like this. Thanks for allowing your voice to sound so clear to the point where I knew it was YOU telling me to go for it. ;)

I had an awesome pre-birthday gift .

Thanks Dad!

30th June 2011 ;

2011-06-30T12:33:00.001+08:00

Alright, before I begin with everything, I’d like to take time of to rant for just a little while. I spent half and hour trying to figure out what my blog ID was, and it took another half an hour for me to figure out what my password was. I guess this is enough to convince me that i’m sixteen and a year older – ( and also, closer to being a forgetful person )

Paying a visit to my blog makes me feel nostalgic. The last time I posted an entry was December 2010 ; on the day I needed a breakthrough. Goodness me, I’m feeling so nostalgic, I can’t help it bout think about the many things I’ve already been through for the past couple of years. It came to my realization that I’ve been living this way for two years now ; living a life of surrender, that is.

I’m laughing at the way I use to spend so much time on my blog! :D Something i miss doing alot! Well, sometimes , you gotta give up some things for something even better ;)

Well anyway, I bet this blog won’t be quite alive after this few days, I SEE THE NEXT FOUR BUSY MONTHS AHEAD!

Okay bye for now. ;)

Dear supernatural Dad,

2010-12-09T23:26:00.016+08:00

I’m writing this because I KNOW you’re supernatural. Needless to say, you already know what I’m about to write the next 10 minutes. I’m definitely sure you’ve heard what I mumbled minutes ago, and I want you, ( and whoever who reads this ) know again that I truly, genuinely recognize that only You, can provide a way out in sticky situations. Only the supernatural YOU, can bring healing and restore broken relationships. Not that I didn’t acknowledge that before, it’s just that I want to emphasize that again. Only You.

Sigh, dad. It was so close. I thought all these was gonna come to an end. I thought so. I thought everything would have already be alright by now. That’s how foolish I was. Thinking that it was time to drop it off completely. What happened today reminded that it's not a ONE TIME THING, it's about what's gonna happen after that ONE TIME. Whether or not it's gonna be stepping stones enabling us to step further, or vice versa. I know it's gonna take a whole lot more BUT,

I am, and will still be believing in you for breakthroughs.
I am, and will still be believing in you for divine encounters.
I am , and will still be believing in you for change and only through You change can happen.
I am, and will still be desperately waiting for you to work supernaturally.

I know you can, I just know it. I always did

I WE ME SHE HE,
We’re stuck here in a sticky situation but I chose to stand in the gap because I believe in a You. Because I believe that only through You, we can find our way out. FRICTIONS come and go. But just like he said,

"Oh there are more than frictions. There's still air resistance and other stuff, but oh well.. He'll do the solution of forces for you. ;) " - Jofan Pang ( modified sentence )

( Also, I thank you for an awesome brother who always, sticks his tongue out and by your grace, speaking and comforting on your behalf ) *winks* at Jofan. Not forgetting another wonderful supportive sis given the 'man-ly-est' gentle-est name, Mandy ;)

I’m not gonna give up on You.
and I pray that you’ll work supernaturally this very day. This very night. This very hour, This very second. SUPERNATURALLY. I’m certainly not going to snap OR cross my fingers and expect things to change. I’m going to wait for You to snap your finger and bring us through. Also, I ask for grace that you may help us to Forgive like You forgave. And Love like You sacrificed.

Above all my dear daddy,

I know that to many, this four letter word seem to have lost it’s meaning.

But NOW, I really mean what I’m about to say.

I love you.

Took a while for me to notice this.

2010-11-18T14:45:00.000+08:00

some gift my from my brother's friend. Well, I guess I can still classify her as F.R.I.E.N.D.

My holidays have been seemingly interesting. Pretty much productive, I can say.

It BETTER BE,

Because I have 48 days left till school starts.

In actual fact,

2010-11-17T18:03:00.005+08:00

You'll need a whole lot more than just nails, wood, etc.

for a house to go under renovation.

( See that square box? That's were my soap use to bathe! :)

It takes a whole lot of faith.
A cup full of trust.
and a submissive heart to your only source of
Hope.Strength.Grace.Guidance.Protection ;
& Love.
♥

You don't need a voodoo doll or chant all day long.
All you need is ,
the existing Jesus Christ :)

My blog deserves a happy picture.

2010-11-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

But my Dad deserves all the glory.

Post PMR post.

2010-10-21T23:10:00.001+08:00

Oh look, mei's shirt is pointing at you readers, hehee.

PEEE, EMM, ARR, IS OVER ;

( it's been over 11 days ago, to be exact )

And I’ve been busy hopping around of earth lately.

BEING REAL BUSY. Busy as it busy without the body :)

Doesn’t matter anyway.

As long as I’m busy doin’ the right ol’ stuff.

Gah, I feel disoriented after the trip.

I shall edit this post soon.

Till then,

Watch out for Sue Xian, she might dig your nose anytime now.

Unto You.

2010-09-19T17:54:00.001+08:00

I live for you,
All of my days belong to you,
you draw me to, your tenderness,
you make me new.

Into the secret place, I will run,
where my heart can be free ,
in the grace that I've found.

Unto You,
Be all glory and praise,
How my heart seeks your face,
as I'm waiting on you.

Only You,

Are my strength and tower,

Fill my life with your p'wer

As I stand here in awe of you.

Temporary death.

2010-09-19T15:44:00.002+08:00

Heya bloggarians! again.

Hrmm, It hasn't been that long since I've blogged , i guess. Well. Sad to say, here I am sitting right in front of the computer WAITING for that very faithful day, the 5th of October 2010. Where all my effort ( also , everything else ) boils down to four annoying, restless, nevertheless, stressful days of my life so far. Well I'm not so sure bout the stressful part, but yeah! Still, i'm not as STRESSED as Jedida. *grin at her* She'll be poking me in no time. Anyways, it's good to have jolly good parents like mine. They never seem to stress me out, or create unnecessary stress. That's probably why I'm so relaxed right now. Maybe TOO relaxed.

Not only do I know I'm blessed to have such loving people in my life,
I also have one young adorable sister who would distract me and mark all my sheets of exercises whenever, or wherever she is. :)

and YES. I AM, INDEED.

ONE HAPPY GIRL :)

But sad to say, my blog WILL remain dead at the moment. And this , Jofan, is temporary death. I suppose I'll get back to where I've left soon. on the eleventh of October, to be exact.

Okaaaay I'm off to my books and whatmore ;
PMR! :)
Never coming back till then.

♥

Corruption within ourselves.

2010-09-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

"We look for light, but all is darkness.

We look for brightness, but we walk in deep shadow.

At midday we stumble as if it were twilight ;

among the strong, we are like the dead.

So justice is driven back, and righteousness stands at a distance ;

truth has stumbled in the streets,

honesty cannot enter.. "

Who then, shall we blame, besides our very own selves?
If only everyone in the world lived as children of light.

Yes, You are Light, when the darkness closes in.

I love you.
:)

#2 Thoughts from within,

2010-09-17T15:28:00.008+08:00

Today , I was firmly reminded again.

By whom, you ask? The One who called me by name, and nevertheless, provide me with EVERYTHING I need, and the strength I needed to face the bumper rides in life.

10And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. 11Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means.

The words Struck me pretty hard right there.
I know my purposes in life. I know what I should do. I know I should place others first before me. I know that many out there need the little stuff I do. I know there're many out there who needs what I have, and to care for them. Yes, I know. I'm not perfect, but my imperfection pushes me to grow more.

So I HOPE YOU, right there. Yes you. If you feel tired or weak, or worn out.
Don't let it overcome you. Share it with someone, give it all up to HIM.
If you're able to strive and push on, you'll enter into a whole new level.
I wanna encourage you. Trust me, it's all worth it.

All in all I'm glad that I'm ..
" pressed but not crushed,
persecuted, but not abandoned,
struck down, but not destroyed,
I am blessed beyond the curse,
for His promise will endure,
and His joy will be my strength .. "

#1 Thoughts from within.

2010-09-14T23:21:00.005+08:00

Yes I've been on Facebook to take away some of the unnecessary stress, and I came across what I've wrote couple of weeks back.

"We need a breakthrough in our generation to be conscientised on realities and be moved to show compassion and mercy in dealing with the poor and marginalized. "

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Yeah. That's what I wrote there. Of course, I do believe more of these words should be put to practical use. Not just talking the talk, but Walking the talk. Since December 2009 , I'm constantly reminded of the things I SHOULD focus on, not just to look on the surface of things, but to look at things with a different perspective. That's how I've tried to live for the pass 10 months.

I must admit, at times, I'll be worn out ; tired.
Striving so hard to do what I've started off with.
To balance life, and what-more. My priority as a student, daughter, sister, and friend.
Yes, it's hard. It's a choice you have to make, right? If you chose to have the burden for people out there, then you've to die to self and turn away from the luxuries and comfy lives you were living in before this. I was well aware of that and thank God I'm not the kind of person who'll die without Facebook for a year ..

WHY?

2010-09-07T23:56:00.012+08:00

to all so called Malaysians :)

since you're one, did you realize that Malaysia's the No 1 destination of Indonesian victims of human trafficking, according to the International Organisation for Migration. READ IT UP! There's no need for a lie. It's written and proven.

I suppose not.
Because many out there chose to focus on themselves rather than thinking of the world beyond their own comfortable world. Why? because people nowadays take for granted the blessings they have. Sometimes, even me.

So you think happens only to United States ? and not Malaysia? Well today, I'd like to remind you that you're facing a high risk of being trafficked into prostitution ( that's right. Malaysia. ) or modern day slavery. Sounds cool? I mean, Hoorray! Malaysia Gets FIRST PLACE for human trafficking and we're sticking our butts in front of the computer. Wow! Don't you feel a thing? You hear stories bout our corruptive governments and lousy stuff but DO YOU CARE? Will you start playing your part and do something?

These people live in fear everyday. What to they wake up to? will their voices be heard? Yeah, go ahead and imagine yourself being in their shoes. I don't think you'll ever get the change to complain bout the HOT WEATHER in Malaysia anymore. Neither will you be able to switch on your air cond and start texting. Life ain't always certain. Today you might get to cool off your body with air cond. Tomorrow you'll be dumped in the boot of a car, being squashed with 20 other people, trafficked away.

II'm just voicing some very watered down thoughts I think you guys should know. I dont know bout you but I keep tearing whenever I think of these people. Listen carefully to the VOICES needed to be heard. (!) I tear whenever I think of the people who HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH HERE, and still demands for more. Lives are taken away daily, not one, not two, but hundreds, could be thousands. GAHH! I just dont know what to say anymore. People need to be selfless. People need to think of OTHERS before themselves. PEOPLE, with HEARTS, need to DO SOMETHING instead of WATCHING and NODDING . PEOPLE, WITH MAN POWER, need to fight this. People that would empathize need to stand in the gap and intercede.

SPEAK UP for people who CANNOT speak for themselves .PROTECT THE RIGHTS of all who are HELPLESS. Speak for them and be righteous judge. Protect the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

Needless to say, many people these days chose to be ignorant and let complacency take over them. People these days choose to be apathetic in this ignorant generation. Breaks my heart to think bout the world and the many more corruptive, abusive things happening, whatmore? it'll shatter HIS.

Why won't be rise up as a generation that CARES for the LOST, HUNGRY, NEEDY, BASICALLY, the VOICELESS?
Why are people so self centered these days?

WHY?
:(

I dont know what to say.
I'm messed up ; all over the place.

Just do me, yourself, and God a favour.
Quit idolizing and stop thinking of ME, MYSELF AND I.
There's a WORLD out there that NEEDS you.
PLEASE.

; enough said.

JaniceK ; A Proud Malaysian.

2010-08-20T23:14:00.005+08:00

Heya Bloggarians! :)

Yeah I know I told you days ago that my blog's closed down for two months. Neh! Haha.
I just felt the need to blog this out. Because I can't stand the way Malaysians act these days. I'm not saying I'm a perfect example or the best Malaysian, but at least I'm trying to change myself for a better cause, to impart, and to do my part as a Malaysian ;) I dont mean to offend anyone, I'm just voicing out what I've been called few months back. To LOVE Malaysia.

Okay , soo .. Instead of telling you how flippin’ busy I am these days,
I’ll tell you about how inspired I am to see more young people rising up for their nation, making a statement and standing up for what’s right! :D

No doubt I’ve been squeezing my brains lately, yes I know we all don’t see the significance in sitting or studying for PMR anymore, but still, I’ve gotta do my best to glorify my Dad! ;D Or maybe, like Sel said, We’re the last few batches, why not just make it a colourful oneee right! =) So yesh, study for your PMR, get straight A’s and THEN, enjoy your hours of relaxation. Well, not for me.

Over the months, things changed. Thoughts are changing. Lifestyles are changing. I mean, FOR ME , that is. As most of you know, I’m really really burdened to see CHANGE happen in my beloved county,

Malaysia

. To see what’s going on In my country right now, it’s really sad, knowing that we’re living in such a corrupted generation. No I’m not just talking about politics and common issues happening, I’m talking ABOUT OURSELVES! THE PEOPLE LIVING HERE, MALAYSIANS.

You, yes you! ( and me ) the so called Malaysians.
What are you doing here in

Malaysia

?
You complain, nag, make a big fuss about issues here and there.
But what are you doing to contribute to this nation?
Doin' any good here?

I mean, I don't know bout you but these are thoughts to ponder upon.
I know I've been questioning myself since six months back.
When I started to realize who much

Malaysia

means to me.

and guess what. I love my county, and I chose to stand in the gap and interecede for this country. Regardless of how bad the situation will be, if I don't do anything, i'm at fault. Not because I caused some big issue to happen, but because I KNEW that my country is going through massive corruption and I, Janice Khaw, Am not doing my little part as a Malaysian. And that will all the more, kill me.

" Do everything without complaining or arguing" Philippians 2 : 14

Yes, it's hard. but truth is, Complaining wouldnt do much good. It's about looking for the solution and wanting to be a part of the answer. Talk about the Malay proverb , Tepuk s'blah tangan takkan berbunyi. What can complaining bout the corruption, dirty conditions , lousy stuff , deep internal issues, filty activities, and 'lousy' education system do? Nothing.

Listen to me,

Doing NOTHING is the worst thing you can ever do.

Think about what you CAN do , instead of COMPLAINING.
What say you? I'm gonna love Malaysia as much as I love myself.

Look, I could go really really deep , for hours and hours and even days.
But I dont seem to have the time, and I'm sure this'll bore you out in no time. HUMAN NATURE MAH, read too long eye pain. ( see, Malaysia style!) What I really hope is that YOU, WILL REALLY BE, A MALAYSIAN.

Truly, Malaysia is a really blessed country and I love her to bits.
why aren't you proud of Malaysia ? ;(
Why don't you love her? Think of the many things happening to the foreign countries. Aren't you glad that you're living in a land so rich and blessed, proudly named Malaysia?

I am.

" Born in a crooked world
Living in a crooked place
Doesn't anybody see what I see,

..

In these crooked hard times
Being crooked is the life
We've traded everything that's right
To satisfy our crooked needs
Gotta eject everything that's worthless

Make straight your ways
The better things in life, ain't here
Its on the other side
Fix your crooked life,

Is everybody blind?
Or we all have crooked eyes
Gotta re-check, eject everything that's worthless "
Relent.

2010-08-14T13:58:00.001+08:00

BLOG CLOSED DOWN
FOR TWO MONTHS

:D
*Gives you a virtual hug*

Stop and read?

2010-07-29T23:33:00.017+08:00

so, I was stalking most of my friend's blogs.
And boy, you people are so retardedly inspirational and encouraging :)
Of all boring literature books, I would rather read all of your blogs and be tested on 'em instead of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. Please ;(

OH!
I like how Jac's blog breathe oxygen in.
And how Daphne's blog has the time for numerous countries!
AND AND AND, how Mel's profile picture has me in it!
Lovely people, lovely blog, lovely God.

One big lovely life.
P/s : there's so much more stuff happening in life I gotta tell you, blog.
Once I find time to glue my butt to the chair in front of the computer, You're GONE! GONE i tell you, GONE. But till then, I'll still love you. ;)

I've never tried peeling a banana and leaving the skin behind. HRMMM..
Should I, or should i not?

2010-07-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

Studying by the poolside ain't easy ;
But when You're with me,
It's like having starbucks on a rainy day.

You're the peace that guards my heart,
My help in time of need,
You're the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees,
There, I find you waiting.
And there I find release.
So with all my heart I'll worship.
And unto You I'll sing :)

For you alone deserves all glory and praise.

I love you, forever and ever.

Your Lil Girl,
JaniceK.

Daddy, Here's your love letter, again! ♥

2010-07-10T23:04:00.002+08:00

Dear Daddy,
Thank you for surrounding me with pretty angels, encouraging me and supporting me. Thank YOU, for being with me every step of the way, making sure I wouldnt fall, or stumble, Making sure I'm always at the right place, at the right time. For guiding me and watching over me.For all your promises that never seem to be broken. For making sure that I'm always secure, and able to rest in your arms. It's a joy to know that there's NOTHING you cannot do. I thank you, that the word impossible doesnt exist in your vocabulary. and that YOU live in me, and I am forever strengthened.I love you, daddy. And I still wanna do Greater Things for you. Teach me how to follow your footsteps. Smack me whenever I do something against your will. Thank you for all those personal encounters I had with you, thank you for staying next to me, speaking to my all day long. In you, I find true love, and joy. I wanna continue growing in your love, to spend time with you. I wanna shine YOUR light, within me. Thank you for the awesome 15th birthday, and ultimately, thank you for being the center of it. You've gave me more than I can ever ask for. More than I could ever imagine. You supply be with everything I need ; knowlegde, wisdom and strenght. And therefore, I wanna live a life worthy of my calling.

Please, Help me to
; die to self,
; And place you FIRST,
; OTHERS SECOND,
; and MYSELF the last.
; Break down my pride, and all the walls I've build up inside.
My earthly crowns and all my desires.

And With all my heart,
I wanna say I love you,
and I need you. I'll never live without you,
; With all I am, I give my life to you,
You make me brand new.

From your daughter ; With love,
JaniceK.
*FARTS*

#5 Blessed 15th ; Blessed to Bless others ♥

2010-07-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

2nd Corinthians 1:4

... God, who comforts US in all troubles, so that WE CAN COMFORT those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from Him ..

I suppose it’s what it means by Blessed to Bless others, eh? :)

But over this weekend, I feel really blessed. Like, seriously. I thank my Daddy for surrounding me with so many blessed and lovable people, encouraging me, supporting me, working alongside with me, protecting me, helping me, making me giggle every second. My birthday was indeed, a blast. And I’d love to say that it WAS, a blast, because my Daddy was the center of it. I'm made complete in Him :)

I didn’t have to plan anything at all. He did all the planning through all of you. How cool.

Like on Thursday, when we had our romantic ‘candlelight’ dinner. I’m sure we didn’t plan that at all, right? =) Thank you Justin, Alicia, Sue Xian, Jared, and Ben for spending time with me even before my birthday! =) I don’t have a picture with you guys, but It’s IN THE BRAIN now.

Also to a few of my school mates, for the yummy lunch we had together,

Pui Teng, Chee Weng, Oliver, Chee Meng, Sukkyi, Li Yueng, Tse Ann, and my dearest Amanda.

It was one awesome lunch , and a day well spent with you guys. Thanks for all the laughters and encouragement throughout the years. You guys have been great friends, and wonderful classmates =) *TIGHT SQUUEZES*

Oh and YES! To my fellow childhood buddies whom I love VERY VERY MUCH,

Sean, Phui Yee, Ben, Nick, Adrian, John. Without you guys, my birthday would have been, not so amusing. Heh!

Thanks for making my day! ;D to Sean for just being SEAN , the plain old loser bestie, whom, i love very much and would like to give another big hug to , to Phui Yee for being there! For Nick and Adrian for being so generous. And to John, my lovable brother slash bestie. ALL of you admitted that our day out was amusing, right! :D I miss you guys ;( Thanks for all the joy you people bring, and just being a blessing to me. I LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOUUU VERY MUCH ;D Ben, I also love stepping on your flip flops don’t forget! ;D And SEAN. PSHH, i got nothing to say to you. Meh! Thank you, babes. for the yummylicious dinner.

And then, there’s another bunch of school mates! :D

For the super duper spicy dinner we had and the super yummy cheese cake.

Thank you, Jie, Amanda, Jun Xiang, Kar Hui, Bryan, Miing Pin, Adrian.

For making an effort to make sure every second of my birthday is well spent 

Thanks GUYS! LOVE YOU ALL ;) esp Manda and Jie! Xoxo =)

AND, NEVER TO FORGET, MY SUPER awesome much of buddies!

For lunch and everything we’ve been through. All the ups and downs ( Not sure if we had any together,but oh well ) All the retarded moments we’ve been through the pass years, all of us, being fired up and called to do Greater Things.

There’s so much more I wanna say to you guys,

but for now, I’ll just settle for a tight squeeze and an ILY. :)

And to the rest who didn’t make it , i love you people very much too! :D Kelly, Joey, Marie I DONT CARE I better see you! ;D And LYDIAA, thanks for calling me all the way from Seremban! I loveee you, and I’ll never forget the days before you left during primary 4. Still keeping in touch , wei. How cool =) Andd, Judith! My sister from another mother. Heh.

Thanks for all the thousand and one facebook wishes,

; to Sean, Aaron, Oliver, Sophia, Jofan, Justin, Hao, and Pui Teng for the lovely handmade cards.Appreciate every single second and effort you’ve put into that card :)

; to Pui Teng for the lovable plush toy! It’s flippin’ cute!

; to Melissa Burton for sharing the love all the way from Australia! :)

; to Yueng and her anak buahs for the iPanema flip flop.

; to John, Sel, Jac, Hao, Sean, Jed, Sue, and EVERYBODEH else, for the pair of Nike’s :)
; to Darren for the chooo choo train sweets , lol.

; to my forever best friend since 10 yrs ago, TSE ANN, for that adding a cow hairband to my lovely cow collection, Thank you ( with a sarcastic, evil, grin)

; and to everyone for everything , everywhere!

I HAD ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY , EVER.

APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU *HUGS*

Eh, come closer lah! I would really wanna squeeze all of you nicely. Heh!

Love you people,

xoxo.

4# Blessed 15th ; Surrounded by Blessings.

2010-07-04T22:23:00.002+08:00

Giver of every breath I breathe,

Author of all eternity,

Giver of every perfect thing,

To you be the glory.

There's nothing better than jumping your heart out for God early in the morning, huh guys?
I truely felt Dad’s presence in YC this morning ;)
So calm, so strong, so filled with Love.

Had a blast with Sel and Sue Xian, and that was just, looking for a cab. Hahaha, Thank you Sue, for jumping like a retard for attention =) Grabbed tickets for TS3, while the guys were still in church. Shopped.

At 12, the 13 of us Smuggled MCDS into the cinema. Jed and Jac kept giggling pshh! Haha. Front rows are pretty comfortable, right guys? ;) We all made ourself comfty, esp SUE. Heh! T3S was epic! ;D Never knew that cartoon characters can be HOT eh, Jac, Sel and Jed? ;) Hahah and I’ll never forget how Jaclyn and me kept texting each other, talking bout how cute Andy was. HAHA! And Gabe, PSHH! ;D

Headed for more yummy phood at The Gardens. I know, Midvalley could be pretty boring but it doesn’t matter at all :) because when you have such fun people around you, no boring place can make you bored. Heh! Oh yeah, rewind. SEL, JAC, AND JOHNN! Thanks for thinking of me ;) Such sweet people, and Selena, SUCH A CHEATER! ;D *strangles you with love* for surprising me with the sexy Puma shoes =) I don’t love the shoes, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! =D Seriously, don’t do that anymore. You yourself know my heart cannot contain it. Meh! =D

Yes, so back to Gardens for more fellowship and laughters! Heh. My goodness, I can’t believe you, Justin Hiew. And, Jofan. According to THEM, I needed a MEMORY CARD READER to read all the cards they made. PSSH, just as lame as I expected ;D

What else was there? Besides, iPad, sushi, memory card reader, a pair of Puma’s, awesomely blessed people, 3 DSLRS.. OHH! There’s my dear beloved Sue Xian’s great idea of ice kacang with ice cream ‘birthday cake’. Thank you Sue, for the generousity and the great idea of smashing the ice cream right up on my lips :) You know I love you, and I know you love yourself. Heh!

Loitered around the mall till 8pm. Thank you Sue , and Sam, for spending extra 2 hours of adoring my adorable abnormal feet size. Hahaa, special Thanks to Sam for being patient ;D And accompanying me till the very end.

It was indeed , a day of bonding and fellowship. Well spent! ;D

P/S : I love all of you and I love JESUS even more for sending me pretty pretty angels, ( even prettier than Molly or Andy , or BUZZ LIGHTER! ) encouraging me to do greater things, and praying for me always. And for all those retarded, whacky, random, lame, more retarted, even whackier, even lamer moments I’ve gone through with all of you. I’M SURE THERE’S MORE TO COME BUT. YEAH ;D

Ahh this is getting so longgg I better stop.
PSSS ; I’ve a personal small note for every single one of you, so please come the next Sunday. <3

XOXO, ( just to Be as girlish as KEN , PSS, Im not a girl's toy! )
JANICE.

Credits to Sue and her photography. Love you, hun.

3# Blessed 15th ; Not just another dinner.

2010-07-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

My second day wasn't that heavy though. Managed to spent time with my family before heading off to another round of yummy food and movies and more birthday celebration :)

So yeash, watch Knight and Day together gether. Heh.
Thank you , Manda for booking the tickets. Love you, hun!

Had another birthday dinner with some lovable retarded buddies :)
Heh, Thanks guys, for the surprise birthday cake! For making an extra effort to look for my birthday gifts, for making sure that my birthday would be one sweet memorable one. Thank you Manda and Jie, for your concern and effort, and just being such a blessing to me :) and to Jun Xiang, Kar Hui, Bryan, Adrian, Miing Pin, Amanda, Li Yueng, and Sophia for just being there. Will always cherish the sweet momments :) I love you guys, *TIGHT SQQQUUEZES* very very much. THANKKKK YOUUUUUUUUU! ;D

Good to have you people as classmates! ;DDDD *hugs*
Daddy, thank you for this bunch of people you've brough into my life.
They've encouraged me and motivated me a whole lot.

I love you.

2# Blessed 15 ; Janice Khaw.

2010-07-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

15 years old TODAY,
An absolute Jesus Freak ,
Loves spending time with people, believes that peeing is so much more fun that pooping, believes that the littlest thing on earth are the ones that matters the most. Loves her ultimate super Daddy, and wants to share His Love, with others. And .. ETC ;)

So, I'm fifteen today! ;D I switched off my phone, cause Sue Xian told me that wolfs are gonna hunt for me. So I did. Thank you, dear lovable buddies, for the encouraging texts, and the lovely birthday messages. Thank you Jaclyn , Su Yi, John, and Johanan for making an effort to call me exactly at 12.

So I woke up at 5 plus in the morning, Minn was the first person I talked too :) Love you, minn! Gave a birthday hug to my dearly beloved sister. Mommy cooked hard boiled eggs for breakfast and wrote birthday wishes on the shell. ;D Spent time with my Daddy before I left to school ;)

School.
Hopped in the car, and my 10 year old lousy bestie, Tse Ann, wished me HALF AWAKE, at 6 plus am in the car. Slept in the car, headed to school, and yada yada yada. :) Hugged Amanda early in the morning! :D Logged in Facebook and noticed my wall was spammed in no time. Talked to Dave through Facebook, in school.( Dont forget you still owe me a meal at Sunway, bro! )

Thank you Cheryl, for the coconut jelly :) Wei Shan and Shelley for the 'GLEE' CARD ;D Thank you, 3a7 for the birthday song! Thank you Soph, for letting all the teachers know , forcing them to wish me, =X Haha. Thank you Suk Kyi for the yummy birthday munchy biscuits! :D Heh. And everybody else for all your love, encouragement, wishes, hugs, and pretty smiles! :D

Lunch.

So, I had an extraodinary day at school, 'cept all the studying. Had RR meeting after school, and was very proud of Shin Wei :) BIG HUGS! After RR meeting, all of us took a cab to 100C to have birthday lunch. I'm pretty sure we actually tore down the whole private room and made it UNprivate.

But anyways, my birthday lunch was a complete yummy lunch, filled with laughter, mucous ( why mucous? ask tse ann! ) broken eggs, camwhores, salty soup! anddd joy. Couldn't ask for a better birthday lunch. :)

So I rushed back home and headed to MV for ..

Dinner.

My dear beloved cousin sister, Carmen came over just to give the both of us, a sweet birthday hug.

And she even bought me a cow keychain. Tse Ann should be proud someone's contributing to my cow products collection.

Anyways, after following Ben's stupid idea of walking rounds and rounds and Sean's idea of making me wait outside Nike for like, SO LONG, I had the bestest birthday dinner ever! ;D I couldnt help it but to squueze all of you tightly. AND OH BOY, I can say that my throat was 100% dry almost all of the time, from all those talking and laughing over all those lame jokes we cracked. Sean, I bet you've learned your leason not so let your lovely bestie touch your iPhone anymore. And Ben, to wear shoes instead of flipflops, so I wouldnt step on your flops again. Adrian, not to bring so much cash and end up treating me dinner. Which reminds me ,THANKS ADRIAN, For the yummy yummy sushi :)

Still, couldnt have asked more. I had the bestest birthday dinner with none other than my childhood buddies. :) I love all of you, very very much.

Oh, and didnt I tell you? I bought my lil sister tortoises as birthday presents! :D look, the tortoise I bought was soo sexxaaay! Model-like-tortoise.

So, at night, I fell flat on my bed, thinking about everyone and everything, and started talking to my Daddy. Today was indeed, one of the most memorable days of my life, just to spend time with so many wonderful people. Catching up on stuff we hadn't catch up. :) I am so very thankful that my Daddy had surrounded me with such wonderful, pretty people. Just so they can encourage me, and be there for me.

Just before 12, I spent my time calling everyone I could ever call, and thanked them for everything they've done :)

Daddy, I just had one of the most memorable birthdays of my life.
Thank you for surrounding me with so many lovely people.
I love you :)

1# Blessed 15th ; Under the rain.

2010-07-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

SO! It's one day before my birthday! :) And so, Sue suggested we should all have a countdown nearby. So, Thank you, Sue Xian, Jared, Ben, Justin, and Alicia, for the super romantic 'candlelight' yummy dinner we had :) And all those funny talks and sotongs! :D Thank you, Justin, for the super yummy mango snowflakes :) HAHA. and Sue Xian for offering that smelly tou fu I didnt wanna swallow. Skipping from places to places under the rain with you people was, very very very fun =) Normally I would say very, but this time i said VERY VERY VERY. Heh! And I would like to hug Alicia very tightly for teaching me how to handle an umbrella. :) pshh, it's VERY HARD OKAY! don't laugh at my poor skills :/ Anyways, Thanks guys for the great moments! Too bad we couldnt stay till 12 :)

LOVE YOU PEOPLE ;)
LOVE YOU , DAD, EVEN MORE.

SELF INVITE, SELF INVITE! :D BURRPS

2010-06-29T23:01:00.012+08:00

*FARTS*
*BURPS AGAIN*
'' OHH, Nooo, SUSSHIII!''
Dedicated to, Daphne Lee :)
Love you, babe!

MISSION CAMPERS!
Must go out with me I tell you, no exception. HEH HEH.

Hello people ;)
I'll just go straight to the point and type everything I wanna say.
I'm doing this for my fishy weird good friend of mine, Hor Sue Xian.
Thursday, OUG pasar malam.
OUG CG people better come! Alicia, Justin, Sek Hao, Basil , Sue Sue. TET SEAN. Ben. Jared. An absolute MUST. Anddddd, everyoneee else! ;D Give me a call ya. or drop me a text.

RECESS REVO MEETING, doing it cause i LOVE my dad!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THEE WHOLE BUSY WEEKEND,
FRIDAY 1-2PM , CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME! OR SHIN WEI ;D

Lunch on Friday after school. Doing this for Li Yueng.
COMMMEE! Everyone must tag along. The more the merrier =)
EVERYONEEEE OKAAY. haha , I dont knoww how to sqquueze in lah.
Dont be afraid to self invite because I'm doing the exact same thing *EVIL GRINS*
Call Li Yueng! :D I want YOU to come tag alongg.

Now, I'm doing this for Nicholas Leong and Judith Mary.
Friday Night , IOI Mall, Reunion Dinner plus Birthday celebration.
All former SKSM-ers plus lousy people like SEAN AND JOHN HAVE TO COME.
Yes, no exception for you two cause I say so ;D Otherwise .. HRMM.
Call Nick! :D

Saturday Morning.
Lunch with famileee, dont intterruppt me pshh. HEHE ;D

Saturday Afternoon, Doing this Li Yueng.
Just get your butts to MV or something lah.
Come tag along! We'll settle for a movie to catch up or something.
Don't worry bout meals, it's all under Li Yueng since she's so rich ;D
Agaaain, everryone has to be there okaay!

Sunday Morning/ Afternoon. Doing this because i love you people!
YCCC-IANNNS! :DDDDD
Youu guys better stick your butts to minee, i dont care we have to hangout somewhere cause I hadnt been spending enough quality time with all you people, SOOOO Move your butts! ;D Do it for Basil, Selena, Mandy, and my sake! :D Because I love you people and I wanna spend more time with you people. ( This is the part where Melissa's suppose to say .. "AWWW, i love you , retarded soul sister, and then her heart will melt ;) Selena Tee, we hadnt been Ipanema shopping lately *WINK*
Give me a call, or drop me a text. OR, Anyone you knoww.

Hrmm, Dont get me wrong, I posted all these up, just cause I was too lazy to text you guys one by one and announce it everywhere like I was told to. So blogging was my last resort. =) it's actually pretty fun, having all your activites planned out for the weekend. Heh.
Makes life so much easier.

Ohh and one more thing.
Everyone who read this just sqqquuueze and tag along laa,
the more the merrrieerrrr ;DDDD
Call me call me call me! I would love to spend more time with YOU.

*HUGGSS*
Coooommmeeeee,
so that you would make me SMILEEEEE!
;D

Hold me, Never let me Go.

2010-06-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

You pick me up When I'm down , And on my own.
You hold my hand, And lead me on ,Into your plan.
Whenever i cry out you hear me, Whenever i fall down you hold me.

Hold me ne ver let me go, Change me,
I want the world to know ,You are living in me.
Dad, I know you'll never let me go.
Dad, help me stand For you each day, And be your voice.

Planetshakers , Never Let Me Go.

:)
*shake shakes*

What about LOVE?

2010-06-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

Hear now this declaration
From out across the nations
We need to wake up and understand

Many hurting hearts are crying
But our voices seem to be dying
Can you see the battle raging on?

To be continued..

What? I have NO IDEA :)

2010-06-25T23:24:00.001+08:00

Dear dad, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what’s gonna happen next. I don’t know why and I don’t know how. There’s alot of things I don’t know, but you know EVERYTHING. I dont know why all these are so sudden. And just reading from jeremiah 29:7, it comforts me :D Today, just to look at the skies, and see the world through your eyes, is so wonderful. Just to spent everysecond mumbling to you, is just so cool ;D I didn’t know all these obstacles were gonna hit me today, but it did. Though I may not know what cheeky lil weird stuff is in front, I’m glad I can rest in you. Im secure in your hands daddy. I know you’ve called me to do greater things, I know you’re preparing me even right now. But please help me stay strong and hold onto you. To really focus and not be distracted. Thank you for this soo awesome peace you’ve placed in me. I still SMILE, and FART, and BURP ( well maybe not so much of the farting and burping) BUT YEAH,

I can do all things through you who strengthens me :DDD
Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.

And so,
I feel challenged yet stronger than ever ;)
AND I STILL LOVE YOU.
=)

Thank you Shin Wei for everything! :D
I owe you one big meal, babe.
and we JUST have to FIND time to sit over coffee and spent our ‘TIME’ together. HAHA ;D

but right now I've to spend time with my daddy first.
I have a long long 'appointment' waiting for me to attend.
See you people tomorrow at prize giving ceremony! :D

I ROCK, but you're the ROCK of my life.

2010-06-22T22:14:00.012+08:00

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

OHHH YES, I heared from you today! ;)
*jumpsfartsscreamssmilesburpslaughs *

Hey dad! :)

Today you told me that , Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the my mouth.. Matthew 4:4 ( personalized! ;D) Your love is so amazing, so overwhelming. It draws me close to you everyday. Your plans are neverchanging , always for me, and never against me. Love me, break me, shape me, mould me, let my life shine for your glory. Love me, hold me, guide me, lead me, to your ways and your ways only. It doesn’t matter where I go , that even in the deserts, in the streams of water, it will flow. And in this world of cicumstances, that justify the end, all I need is YOU. I love you , daddy. And I know how it feels like to get your hearts crushed just like that. Ohh and , prize giving day is gonna be so boring, man! Plus, Tse ann’s going to Korea on my birthday. Daddy please make her trip the awesomest trip ever! :D and Yueng Jie wants to know you! Haha. Okay, I'm going to sleep now. Oh before that, I wanna let you know that Melissa Pok's my super retarded soul sister! Haha, and I want to go swimming with kor tomorrow! Wookaay off tooo beeeed =) See you sooon daddy! Oh wait, you're looking at me now! Hahah.

Dear Janice,

You are the light of the world, A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your daddy.

Okay, I'm ready to kick butt tomorrow again! ;)

Goodnight, I love you.

Thank you, I can't stop smiling now.

2010-06-21T22:53:00.010+08:00

Now if you wonder what're the thoughts that goes through fifteen year old these days ..

My blog's the weirdest answer to your question.

Dear daddy,

It's very nice to hear from you again today. I feel different today. Very very different from the way I feel everyday. I felt like I know you even more. I felt close to you, in a way. :) I love you. so very very much. If i could, I would squuueze you tight even right now.

Hrpmsh. I feel like farting more sushi. WHERE'S the DAPHNE when I need one?! *looks around* Ohh and Mel, Sel , Ba, John and Jared. I hope you guys are still keeping my random note on carboard boxes ;D I'm sorry la, my hands was just plain itchy and i HAD to scribble something for you guys. That's only cause I love you. and I'm sorry I ditched hanging out with you guys. Needed some family time myself. Glad I made the right choice though ;) ANYWAYS,

What i would like to do now is to just sit down and talk to my daddy,

So if you'll excuse me, before that, I would like to give Daphne a big fart. :)

And Mandy a very very very very HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY.

To Jared, Selena and also Basil Cha!

I dont know bout you but I feeel hyperrrishh and ready to kick more butts tomorrow!

PEEEEEL AN ONION! ;)

With Farts of sushi love,

Janice.

Here's to my fellow beloved Impact Team.

2010-06-21T22:12:00.004+08:00

Oh , you make me smile.

I guess like Alex said, The 'Beauty' word was actually for AGC's WWF.
; I am beautiful.
Haha, but I suppose all of us are beautiful in a different way.
So , since we're all so pwetty people we should keep on impacting people's life, right!

I feel hyperly grateful ( whatever that means ) andddd super duper happy just working with you guys! :) I feel the joy. anddd the love. *HUGS* I hope we'll just cling on together and never lose that very deep passion for our work. Remember, Relationship with intimacy is very very important. Escpecially while we're working! :D I'm losing words. Yeeeyikes, smack me smack meee ;) oh well, anywaay. Bottom line, I lovee you people (:

Way da go, IMPACT team ;)

I Exalt thee.

2010-06-20T22:29:00.004+08:00

Hello Dad.
I just spoke to you just now. Like , 10 minutes ago? :D
And I just wanna thank you, that today, I was just so filled with your joy , that I couldnt just so screaming and dancing. I know It's not something that men can give, I knew it was from you. I know it's because you heard me crying in the toilet ( yer so embarasssing right DAD! ahha) Yeash I know you've heard me crying, and immediately you respond to me ;D I love you daddy, and I'm here for you. I finally understand the why you've put me into such situations. You've planned everything so well, you've sent your baby Philip , to pass on your message to me on the exact perfect time. All that I've experience, the past months, I finally understand why :) You've directed me to the path that I needed to go, and you've supplied me with everything I needed. Now you're equipping me. I love you, daddy. And whenever I think of your sacrifice, I'll just break down into tears, your love for me, is so personal. So unfailing, so true, so genuine, NON OTHER CAN GIVE ;D

Dear Daddy,
I've heard from you today, and I never wanna stop hearing from you.
You spoke to me so clearly. I love you, so very very very very much =)
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

MY HEART'S EVER READY FOR YOU NOW :)

Just yesterday, I was weeping out loud,
Today, I'm still weeping out loud, but with the your joy and your strength, filled in me.

Now Im ready to kick butt in school tomorrow!
;D

I'm tired. Really really tired.

2010-06-19T23:18:00.007+08:00

Not physically. Mentally and spiritually. I'm so flippin' tired! Till it wasn't hard to just break down into tears. Whatever that means. I'm just all over the place, I have so much more to do, So many things in store for me. Honestly, I feel like just dropping everything and just lie flat on the bed. I want my brain to go blank.

I flashed back, and when I thought of the tight bonds we had, i broke down into tears. Over the past few months, I realised how much I've isolated myself. Someway or another, I felt as though i didnt know you guys anymore ;( It's tough for me. Because I've never thought that the tight bond will just go away. I couldnt balance my life. That was my weakness. I couldnt push away stuff from my schedule, just to make time for you guys, that was my weakness. I was snobish and acted as though I was as busy as the nerdy Billgates making money ( or even busy shaking legs ) Honestly, I feel so far away from you guys, even though I'm just right in front of you.

" Where's Janice? "

" Oh, she's busy with her stuff lah, as always .. " or

" What 'bout Janice?"

" Yeah la she only replies when she needs you .. "

It pierces through my heart everytime I hear those lines, because as much I love you guys, I truely wanna spend time with all of you. I'm weak and I'm all over the place. I can't manage everything well so that it'll be properly balanced. You must be thinking, Im just 15, just chill lah. I can't. I have more on my shoulders than what you think I have. I send sos telegrams to heaven from time to time, and I need a breakthrough ;( I was too proud to admit my weakness, I guess. Now that you know I need your support also. I've never felt as selfish and proud as this before. Never will I wanna be again. YES, If any of you read this, YES I have ALOT of struggles that you wouldnt even notice! And I FIND IT HARD TO BALANCE LIFE ITSELF. Scold me all you want :/

and to the Slim River Mission Trip '09 team, I wished our bond grew tighter. But sad to say I see less unity already. Sad for us, and sad for my own pathetic self, too. It's hard to see some of you drift away ;( Our mistake was, we didnt stay accountable for one another after the trip, and all of us were scattered over the place, almost drifted away. Someway or another we need to push each other through. Isnt that exactly what we've said? That we've all had this burning fire. and a passion deep down inside, and we'll do this together? I know some of us still are. and I appreciate that :D

My life is all over the place.I know it's for a purpose, And I know you have a plan for me.

You've arranged my life this way,because you know what's best for me.

You know my inner feelings and deepest thoughts. You hear my cries and all I want to do is rest in your arms. Take me to the place, where I can see you face to face.

I'm seeing so much clearer looking through your eyes. I could never find a safer place Even if I tried. All the times I've needed you, You've never left my side. I'm clinging to your every word. And I'm here to stay. Nothing can separate us, And I know, I'm okay. You cradle me gently , Wrapped in your arms. I'm assuredly Yours.

One thing I ask, and one thing I would seek. Is to see your beauty.

To lay off everything, and spend more time with You.

Truely, better is one day in your courts than a thousands elsewhere.

I feel so alone in this cold world. And all I have is you.
When Sometimes you're not even giving any responds.

;(

GOD, PLEASE.

JUST NUGDE ME OR
SMACK ME IF YOU'RE THERE!

Yes, The normal happy bubbly Janice Cow would just give you the happy retarded smile,
but I'm in desperate cry.

SO GOD, PLEASE, just hear me from over here.
I'm stuck in a puzzle I can't solve. You've given bits and pieces of 'em.
But I need more. I feel empty ;(

Goodbye, bloggie.
Just ignore my rants.

2010-06-19T01:28:00.004+08:00

Okay now I miss the rats squeeking in the middle of the night, and pulling Sue out of the bed in the morning, watching how she grabs Ainsley AND Ainsley, the trained pig in zoo negara slept all the way. How we wake up early in the morning to bathe, and cook breakfast for everyone. and our BBQ dinner was just plain cool! Ohh and Jojee's reaction towards FAKE TOY LIZZAAARDS was epicly farnay! Plus, dragon whiskers, snails, Sue's karate kicks, strawberry pillow bargains, waffles, conveersations, fellowships, laughter, more rats, sweet corns and potato. HRMM ;D

I think the bond's quite tight already.
till we just have to go out tomorrow! ;D
Haha, I can't wait to sleepover at Sue's place and pull her out of bed all over again!
I just love you people, very very much x3
;)

PS / Sel and Ba I still need to go out with you guys!
Pfffffft. :0

MISSIONS CAMP 2010 ; The Ultimate Bom.

2010-06-18T23:09:00.013+08:00

wasnt just an ordinary camp. It wasnt just an ordinary 96 hours spent. I wasnt on the computer, or the phone ( rarely) or the teevee. I wasn't studying throughout the holiday. That kicks away all the main distractions. It was a 96 hours well spent with 23 love revolutionarist , ever so thirsty to just keep seeking. Honestly, I hestitated to go for this camp. Because it's the 4th camp of the month and I'm flippin' tired. Like, seriously seriously 'boooof-ed'. But I just HAD to go for this and no doubt, I had no regrets, because this camp gave me my last answer.

You were just there, amongst us. Pouring down on us, with visions and voices.

I could feel the warmth as you spoke , and I immediately broke down into tears. You told me to push harder, and so I will. You told me I had a gentle heart, and that you were so happy with what I'm doing. Despite my age. You told me that you would reveal yourself to me, and I'll be here waiting for you.

You've arranged and planned everything , just as how I needed it to happen.
You've answered my questions, and everything else. You've placed this burning fire deep inside me, I've surrendered my life to you.

Now I have a renewed heart for these people and the many lost ones out there. I asked for open doors and You've placed me in the department so that I would pick things up. Now you're equipping me , so that I would stand strong. and Now that I've heard from you, I don't feel alone anymore.Yes, Here I am right now. I'll go alongside with you :)

At the end of the day You've filled me with so much joy and laughter.
I'm blessed to bless others and I could sing of your love forever.

Love,
JaniceAbrahamKhawAiMee :D

TOLD YOU PEOPLE MISSIONS CAMP WOULD BE AWESOME ;D

2010-06-09T21:43:00.006+08:00

Hello O'Jello! :)
I'm back from KKB already. I didnt get bit my a leech. I got injured by the obstacle course there, instead. I wanted it vice versa okaaay. Rawr. I flippin' miss the bus ride, and how much I urged to stop by the grass and pee, how stinky and stuffy the dorm is, how cockroaches can just come crawl out of no where, all those toothpaste sabotages plus course and the late night mamak bonding sessionsss pffft I want to go back ;( Oh and how I stupidly injured my leg. And how I pulled my way through the jungle at 1am in the morning and bathe in cold water than. CHEE, I practically miss everything and everyone and everywhere lah!

The best part is, I'm going through more and more personal experience with You! :)
How cool is that suppose to be.
Ubber mud-ickyly- cool! ;D

2010-06-04T10:31:00.004+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :
Hrm, Crashed Soph's house eearly in the morning.Camp's today :D I kept forgetting everything. I forgot my shoess and tracks and had to go all the way back.PPFFFT.( Yeaah right,I just camp back from AGC like, last week and I'm going for another camp over the weekends. SOO TIRING :/ ) Idont know why la but Im actually looking forward to Mission's camp more than this. I miss bathing in the colddd andd eating cockroaches. All the silly retarded hypery moments at camp :/ YIKESS. Now I'll have to face leeches. I'M GOIN TO CAMP AT KKB! =) Hahaha, Thank God I'm familiar with tthat place.

Oh andd yeah. Soph just spammed my blog. ANDDD I smell something niceee somewhereeee. OHHH PEANUTTT :) SHUCKS, i forgot to drop by at Parkson to get me a pair of pants summore wei. SHEESH. * CHEEE, Feeling the excitement yet? ;)

I WANT TO GO FOR MISSIONS CAMP!
EVEN BEFORE THIS CAMP.

Note to self ,
Please rmb to give Suwen a pretty haircut. And kidnap more people for missions camp.
Whoops. Serena wants to go on net.
CIAO =)

2010-06-04T10:29:00.003+08:00

BACK FROM AGCCCC :)
Missing everything and everyone and every mommment.

2010-06-04T10:28:00.001+08:00

HELLLOOOO MELLOWWW SOPHIA HERE! :)

Sitting here with Janice watching Lovely Bones is FREAKKKYY :P Hahahax once in a lifetime spaming Janice's blog... White Rhinoceres you are :D but funny laa you.HEEEEEE :) caaampssss! a prefect camp are we going?? Smiless ;) Love you fats, Sophia (a.k.a. skinny bones)

2010-05-27T16:37:00.003+08:00

*SCREAMS!*

*Laughs*

*FARTSS*

*BURPPPSS*

ALL GIRLS CAMP 2010!
-WWF-

is TOMORRRRRROOOWWWW!

Don't you feel the excitement yet?

Cause, I DOOOO! I'm flippin' excited and I can't wait to spent SLEEPLESS nights with all you awesome people! I can't wait to steal Mel's food in the middle of the night and crack cold lame jokes withhhhh lame peopleee ohh goodness the excitement is gonna kill me! Ohh and the best part issss to watch how God's gonna work His way througout the camp! PLUSS, All thoseee bonding sessions in the dorms! ;D late night chit chats maggi cups waiting to shower in the freezing cold waterrrr wanting to go out and feel the super amazing breezy wind in the morningg plus morning walks going from halls to halls andd EVERYTHING ELSE! :D

I CAN'T WAIT!

See you awesome people there!

I wonder how amazing and noisy the bus will be.

Happy Birthday, Gloria Chan!

Drop dead.

2010-05-22T18:41:00.019+08:00

I am utterly weak.
I feel like dropping everything I'm doing.
and to just listen to His voice.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in your weakness "
2nd Corinthians 12:9
But this drives me to where I am today.

I'm forced to do the things I don't want to do. Studying, When all I wanna do is just sit. listen. talk. and spent the rest of the day of with Him.If I were to be given a choice, I would rather talk to Him, whole day long.I'm desperate. You hear me? I'm thirsty. and hungry. for YOU.I need a break and I want more of you ;(

Yes, I have all the things awaiting to be done on my 'To-Do-List'. Studies, responsibilities and everything.And I'm struggling so hard to focus more on what's beyond the four walls around me. I don't want to pursue anything out of selfish ambition. I want to do more than I'm doing, and offer more of me.

I don't want to waste time doing all these things. When all I wanna be IS OUT THERE , all I wanna hear is HIS VOICE, all I wanna do is HIS WILL, when all I wanna speak is of HIS LOVE , and all my feet wants is to follow after HIS FOOTSTEPS. all I wanna is feel is HIS PRESENCE, and for HIM to reign over the earth. I want all my things to be related to Him. I want to push the world aside. and to really focus on you. I don't want to be stuck here. I want to do your KINDA THING, you know? The kinda thing that would spark lives.
I hear of the awesome wonders you've done, and how you've used my friends to speak of your love. I dont want to sit around and wait for Greater Things to come, I want to be a part of the love revolution. I thank you for always nudging me, giving me constant reminders to make sure I'm aware of what I'm doing. and what I'm suppose to do. I thank you that whenever I'm off track, your love brings me back. And here I am today, feeling so connected with you. You're always supplying me with all the things I need, and you made the ultimate sacrifice. Everything FOR ME. I feel so in love with you and I want to serve you. You know the desires of my heart deep down inside. All I long to do is worship.

I don't want anything to come in my way,
And I don't wanna let anything stop the fire burning in me.
I want to do more. Show me your heart and teach me your ways.
I need to be really balanced. and I wanna be ALL ABOUT YOU.

I can't imagine my life without you,
cause it's all for you.

I'm WEAK ;
I desperately need you ;(
I don't want straight As in exam,
I want YOU.

All I need is you,

2010-05-02T22:15:00.018+08:00

Oh WAIT. All I EVER HAD, IS YOU! :)
And you're the only one I could ever live for..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Janice,

You need to re-focus and set your priorities right. Yes, you think you're right at times but you lack wisdom. You need to intercede for yourself as you intercede for others. You have to learn to manage time and cope with everything else when everything else is happening everywhere else. THE WORLD DOESNT WAIT FOR YOU TO RELAX JANICE. You can't do it by yourself, you need His guidance and strength. You are WEAK Janice, there's nothing to be ashamed off.You need wisdom, you need to read more of Proverbs! You need to know what NOT TO DO, and WHAT TO DO. JANICE! You better not waste more time and procrastinate before I smack your butt! No more blogging/ facebook till you get hold of everything. No more texting, no more talking on the phone. No more scribbling random stuff on random recycled paper! There are many other stuff you need to pay attention to besides all these. REFOCUS , YOUNG LADY! No one's gonna making sure you do all these, it's for your own good. You know what you need to do. SO do you still want me to smack your butt or NOT!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS: I'm not gonna be touching my blog for quite sometime.

Yes, Melissa would definitely miss me! Which also reminds me, I owe Jofan a blog post and I HAVE to KIDNAP Amanda to go jogging with me! :)

I can do all things, because it's you who gives me stength,

And I'm living by faith ; Nothing is impossible.

2010-04-30T22:50:00.002+08:00

YESH, I KNOW! I OWE PANG JOFAN A LONG SMEXY BIRTHDAY POST! :)

And! I have loadsa stuff added to my 'To Do , but lazy to do List'
Somebody smack me!
:(

to my Stubborn little bags,

2010-04-28T21:40:00.005+08:00

If you ask me, yes. I highly believe that eye bags are the IN thing these days. It doesnt look THAT good on you, but still. Everyone's carrying it around everywhere they go and it seems like they're stubborn and they wont fall of easily. SOOOOO right. My point is, if you have eye bags, it's a TREND ;) Learn to live with it.

GO GET YOURSELVES AN EYE BAG OR TWO!
( OR MORE! ):)

What's it like to suffer and wait till you DIE?

2010-04-25T18:15:00.042+08:00

So, I spent my almost my whole afternoon listening to Lydia Paul's message. Almost every part of the message spoke to met . There was this part she talked bout the lepers , how they suffered and all. It's not the main point of the whole message, but just to think of the sufferings they go through everyday. It made me cry just to think of it.

Imagine how much pain they go through EVERYDAY, with so little chance of being CURED. What bout those in the poor countries? WHAT IF they dont have anyone to foot their medical bills? There's NOTHING they can do, But to sit around and suffer from THAT EXCRUCIATING PAIN, just waiting to DIE. Is it fair to them , you ask? What did they do wrong to deserve this kind of pain? I'm sure NOT everyone deserved it. All those ikcy lepromatous germs just so happened to spread to them. it's not like they WANTED to suffer from this sickness, right?

But WHAT ABOUT YOU? You have a perfectly HEALTHY BODY, with every part working , alive, and going. BUT

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DEVOTING YOURSELF/LIFE TO?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have,

MORE THAN YOU NEED AND IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH AND YOU WANT MORE!

I dare you to deny that you’ve complaint bout life. I know I have.

WHILE,They don’t have,

● EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. OR , EVERYTHING THEY EVEN NEED.

And they just wanna wake up, clinging on to a HOPE for a better life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHEN YOU COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING,

You flush it all away when you give in to your desires.

You spent time on worthless things

when you could reach out to a thousand others,

All you do is " I WANT THIS!" and demand it to be done.

You eat royal meals that would last them a day or two.

You pay at least RM30 per month on your phone ,

You pay at least RM88 per month for the Internet service,

You spent money of the stuff you DON'T actually NEED,

and you say you can't afford to give.

HELLO? They're practically LIVING in HELL , while you're living this luxurious life!

All they want is ,

●just to LIVE a SIMPLE, healthy life ( Even THAT, they can’t get. They have to go through all the sufferings they didn’t intend to )

● snap a finger and say “ I NEED THIS!!”
( but it often doesn't work for them either )

● just to have PROPER MEALS and sufficient nutrients EVERYDAY.

● stuff you already have, eg. Shelter, clothes, food, family, friends, LOVE.

● to experience how is it like to be LOVED. To be cared for.

● YOUR attention!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is uncertain , anything could happen.
You might just end up in their shoes.
Wonder what happens next?

THINK. SACRIFICE.

WHAT CAN I GIVE INSTEAD OF WHAT WOULD I RECEIVE?

Instead of being selfish and storing up everything for yourself, learn to give. Take it as a challenge to Go out of your comfort zone to make someone else feel comfortable and valuable. WALK THE TALK, Our words are important, but our actions carry more weight than our words.

I tell you the truth , whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine , you did for me. Matthew 25:31-46.

IT DOESN’T HURT TO GIVE, and certainly you won’t regret.
No matter what we have or do,
if we have not love then we have nothing and WE ARE NOTHING.

"Break my heart for what breaks yours"
Yesh, It certainly breaks HIS heart to hear the cries of the lost.
"Show me how to love like you, have loved me"
I couldn't stand it but to shed tears when I was watching the video.It really HIT ME HARD AGAIN, and I seriously heard, AND FELT , the cries of the lost.

But so WHAT? You can't just sit around waiting for GREATER THINGS to happen? You gotta STEP OUT FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE, TAKE THAT STEP OF FAITH , AND
DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! :)

I called, you answered.

2010-04-24T23:11:00.004+08:00

SMKSS'S CROSS COUNTY ; CHECKED!
Who's up for RUN for the NATION next?

Whoosh. I got outta bed at 6amish just to come for my school’s cross country on A SATURDAY. How nice. Despite the fact that most of the pigs decided to skip school on that day. Pfffft. Lazy butts like Tse Ann kept finding alternatives so that she WOULDN’T have to run. Grrr. And so, I ran alone and got 12th placing over all the form 3 girls. Like what the heck so unexpected right. I stinked all the way to the 12th. THEN, I tripped on the stage, laughing. Phew. ANYWAYS, after the whole sweating icky tiring morning, we went for lunch together! :D Hadn't had lunch together since like .. like .. last month! Hah.

and THEN, headed to Ben’s house for CG
meeting. FINALLY , I managed to get something productive done for the week! :D I didn’t get to attend SKSM’s sports day though. Yeah, pretty Depressing. And thanks John , for waking me up from my nap after a very very very long day ._. What kinda bestie is this lah. Grrr. Anyway! :D Today was the most productive day of the week! Exclude RR yesterday. Oh Well , Tomorrow’s all bout Missions! ;)

P/S : I'm starting to remember how irritating folios are.

PSS : HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINAAAAA WEEE & CEDRIC CHA! ;)

If it wasn’t for you ; pushing me so hard from behind ,
I wouldn't have made it through.
Oh yeassh, I feeel so full of your funny energy!

Give RR a kick start? Checked! :)

2010-04-23T16:59:00.003+08:00

School these days are pretty unproductive. Yes, there're classes on, but those aren't even PMR subjects. It's like, you rather stay and home and slouch on the couch, watching dramas or something. Totally unproductive. BUT THEN, Today was a whole different story. School wasn't that happening UNTIL , after school. Honestly, going round the school and picking up rubbish is not something HARD to do, it's pretty simple. and awesome people can make a simple activity like picking up the rubbish , FUN. People started to question us, like. Why're you doing this , why'd you even bother to pick up the rubbish around you? It' not like you get paid or something? No. It's not the case. Yes, some people would be looking down on us' nerds'. But they don't realise it yet. Yuppp, I was walking around with this club T shirt that says Jesus Loves You, picking up rubbish all over the school. INCLUDING WET ICKY stuff from the longkangs. Well those "pickable' one lah. :D praying for the whole school. and a few people we passed by on the way that we KNEW they needed our prayer. Hrmm, This might just be another small thing, but I suppose today was a good start for this whole Recess Revolution thing. Still holding on the fact that Greater Things are yet to come! :D

For Greater things are yet to come,

2010-04-22T21:36:00.002+08:00

( Uh, I think I shot this in Perak ;D)
Look at the amount of rubbish in just ONE SPOT,
and tell me you're not the cause of it.

Finally! Our principle signed the RR papers, and we're officially ready to go! :D
If you ask me, yes I do believe LOVE is the movement.
I'm all pumped up and ready to go! (:
Cleaning a part of the school would be a great start.

For Greater Things are yet to come,
and greater things are yet to be done.
:D

When you're overseas and you're feeling so hungry,

2010-04-21T20:25:00.006+08:00

NOW, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL LIKE ! Hrmmm ..
I actually almost got scolded for blocking the pathway. HEH! ;D

'Love can work wonders.
It could keep the poor and destitute alive
through the generous giving of strangers - Julian A.
It's so true. I've been thinking alot lately.
But I dont have the time to blog!
Now, Thaaaaat irritates me.

You crossed the great divide, You took my place,
You offered up Your life though I have failed.
The veil was torn and love remained.

A love that walls cannot contain,
Yes, I'm desperately crying for your name.

Looking deeper into the thoughts of a sixteen year old,

the defective way,

Sleeping in for the day,

; Bali.

Social Inequalities.

Flying Back Home.

More to come.

A can of coke for 14 ringgit.

Water-related comparisions.

It’s woody and I like it.

Random thoughts I'd like to remember.

; funny.

My classmates; They're amazing.

Happy 48th Birthday, Malaysia :)

We the Malaysians.

Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia! :)

the ninth of july.

being CLEAN ;

Adios! :)

BD #8 - Of more shoutouts.

BD # 7 - Shoutouts from the heart.

BD # 6- Stuffy seafood.

BD # 5 - It was love that made me a believer.

BD # 4 - Tears to Bed.

BD # 3 - I want Nobody but YOU.

BD #2 - 1 Malaysia Run & Exhibition Day.

BD #1 - Malls and markers.

30th June 2011 ;

Dear supernatural Dad,

Took a while for me to notice this.

In actual fact,

My blog deserves a happy picture.

Post PMR post.

Unto You.

Temporary death.

♥

Corruption within ourselves.

#2 Thoughts from within,

" pressed but not crushed, persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed, I am blessed beyond the curse, for His promise will endure, and His joy will be my strength .. "

#1 Thoughts from within.

WHY?

JaniceK ; A Proud Malaysian.

Stop and read?

Daddy, Here's your love letter, again! ♥

#5 Blessed 15th ; Blessed to Bless others ♥

4# Blessed 15th ; Surrounded by Blessings.

3# Blessed 15th ; Not just another dinner.

2# Blessed 15 ; Janice Khaw.

1# Blessed 15th ; Under the rain.

SELF INVITE, SELF INVITE! :D *BURRPS*

Hold me, Never let me Go.

What about LOVE?

What? I have NO IDEA :)

I ROCK, but you're the ROCK of my life.

Thank you, I can't stop smiling now.

Here's to my fellow beloved Impact Team.

I Exalt thee.

I'm tired. Really really tired.

MISSIONS CAMP 2010 ; The Ultimate Bom.

Drop dead.

All I need is you,

to my Stubborn little bags,

What's it like to suffer and wait till you DIE?

I called, you answered.

Give RR a kick start? Checked! :)

For Greater things are yet to come,

When you're overseas and you're feeling so hungry,

" pressed but not crushed,
persecuted, but not abandoned,
struck down, but not destroyed,
I am blessed beyond the curse,
for His promise will endure,
and His joy will be my strength .. "

SELF INVITE, SELF INVITE! :D BURRPS